SOUTHERN GAL ...Speaking her mind with attitude and spunk

Random Writing

2007-02-22T01:20:00.000-05:00

Open the dictionary and pick a word at random, write your entry about that word.

Ok, I'm going to get the dictionary......

Ok, I have it...

I'm just going to open it at random and the first word that I focus on will be the word I'll use to write my entry.

Here goes...

The word is........tone

Yikes.... let me think......OK, here goes.

Each person has a different tone to their voice and that tone can represent the persons mood, demeanor and at times even their thoughts. The tone a person speaks can also be a comforting one. It can be a reassuring voice of reason, understanding and support.There are times that the tone of someone's voice can give others the wrong impression. They may just have a raspy or course way of speaking and come across in a way that doesn't represent who they truly are. This brings home the saying "Don't judge a book by its cover" or in this case their voice.

Married couples sometimes can tell what kind of mood their spouse is in simply by the tone of their voice when they awake in the morning or perhaps when they arrive home from work. They may be tired and express that simply by how they speak. Learning to recognize tones specific to those we spend time with can assist us in communicating better with them. For example if you know when your spouse speaks in a certain tone that it means they are not in a good mood then that may not be the time to go to them and ask them to be there for you. They may need their own space at that moment. By the same token when their tone of speech leads you to know they are in a good mood this may be a good time to spend some quality time with them and do something special that will bring both peace and tranquility.

Update

2007-02-07T00:39:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone. I have been busy lately and wasn't able to keep up with my blog. I wish life would slow down and it does seem to be in the near future. Not much new to update on but I hope this note finds everyone well

Denise {Dee Dee}

JonBenet Update

2006-12-21T21:54:00.000-05:00

Back in August the story of JonBenet was back in the news because of a man who confessed to her murder. It sounded so concrete in the beginning but his story quickly fell apart and he was never charged for the murder and his entire confession is believed to be a hoax for him to return to the United States and avoid the charges he was facing in the country where he had been residing. Last night John Ramsey was on Larry King Live due to the upcoming 10th anniversary of his daughter's untimely murder. The interview went pretty much as expected but then on Anderson Cooper 360 the subject matter was discussed and several handwriting specialist stated that they had compared the ransom note left on the night JonBenet was at first believed to have been abducted before learning she had actually been murdered and compared them with known handwriting samples of Patsy Ramsey (Jonbenet's Mother) and that they would state professionally that both were written by the same person to a 95 percent certainty. They showed photos zooming in on words from both handwriting samples and I must admit that they looked identical. This just goes to show that we will never know what truly happened to this precious little girl especially now since her mother has died of Ovarian cancer earlier this year. Another senseless crime gone unsolved and murderer(s) gone unpunished. Sad, just sad. I am not saying that I definitely believe the family somehow was involved because I remain torn on that issue just as much of society. I just wish for justice for this little girl which should be enjoying her teenage years.

Emerging in life

2006-12-21T21:51:00.001-05:00

When we are faced with obstacles in our life or serious trials and tribulations we may feel as though we've been stopped dead in our tracks. Not knowing which way is up and definitely not which way is out. At first where ever we are stuck is the place where we go around in circles emotionally. Some people get stuck in a denial stage while others may be stuck in a mood of anger or sadness. Everyone reacts differently and there is no right or wrong way to respond to difficult circumstances. We have so many different thoughts going through our minds and as a result we are confused and often very frightened. However the time we spend lost in this emotional wilderness help us to dig deep within our souls and find our true self. We get in touch with who we are and we get in touch with our strength. I've came to the conclusion that this chaotic adventure is necessary in order for us to get through whatever it is we are facing. I believe that this is what gets us on the road to hope. We soon 'emerge' from this emotional wilderness into the full light that brings us hope and we 'emerge' as a stronger person with an attitude of acceptance and the determination to push on and get to the next level in store for our lives. It is just the road we must travel in order to reach the beginning of our new life.

What do you think you have control over? What do you think you don't have control over?

2006-12-20T00:28:00.001-05:00

I have control over only my own actions and reactions. I can't control my health, with the exception of eating healthy, etc. A person cannot control whether they get a chronic illness or an illness that becomes life threatening. I can't control the actions of others. I can take control of many aspects of my life but by the same token there are things that happen that I have no control over. I guess my point to this is that we have to accept the things we cannot control and not make ourselves sick with worry over trying to control those things. Of course, we should take the reins and control the aspects of our lives where we can but we shouldn't allow our need to control things to become so huge that we can't accept that some things happen by chance and enjoy the surprise that life can bring to us. If we were able to control everything about our lives I think we'd end up bored to tears. I can choose to live every day to the fullest, never knowing what tomorrow may bring or I can sit each day worrying about tomorrow and forget to live today.

If you were a pencil, what would you write?

2006-12-17T22:17:00.000-05:00

Considering how clumsy I am more than likely I'd roll off of a desk onto the floor and have someone step on me and break me in half, . All jokes aside, if I were a pencil I'd keep myself sharpened and write many new laws to support health care reform and to bring about regulations to limit the control HMO's and insurance companies have over the choices of our health care. Too often they determine the amount of care we need such as how long we stay in the hospital after a procedure, they determine often whether we get a particular drug or must take one that is cheaper. These sort of decisions should be left to the doctor we've chosen to be our partner in our health care. These sort of decisions should not be made by a pencil pusher in some insurance company. Yes the pencil pusher was a punt .

I firmly believe that a serious change to our health care system is urgently needed. I have read and heard a lot of political pundits debate the issues pertaining to the health care system that is now in place. Some are for change and some are not. In society I feel you would have to look high and low to find a person who has experienced chronic illness that wouldn't agree that a change is necessary. Those who depend on the health care system the most are the ones who know just how dire the situation truly is. We are going to have to bind together and descend on Washington and demand a change. Until we begin to stand up and put the pressure on the politicians nothing is going to change.

Stress Management

2006-12-16T22:23:00.000-05:00

WOW what a doozy of a topic. Stress management in my opinion means that a person attempts to find ways to cope with their stress or to alleviate stress all together or at least minimize the stressful situations in their lives.

How does this pertain to me???? Hmmmmmm, Let me think. Well for one I can be a real stressed out, wound up, ball of nerves. I can get myself tied up in a frenzy over the least little thing quicker than you can blink. I also do not function well when things in my life are chaotic. I tend to shut down emotionally and at times physically. Chaos brings about the strongest of the stressful events for me. So organization is my best tool for reducing my stress to some degree. My organizational skills have been somewhat hindered in recent years for a reason I really am not sure of. I've just had more trouble concentrating and applying organizational skills. At times I've found myself experiencing a shut down when I can't get myself organized. Of course this is a control issue and there are always situations that are out of my control and when those situations come at me one after another, piling on top of one another it is difficult for me to keep from getting all stressed out over it all.

At some point I have to attempt to cope with the situations because dealing with them, putting them behind me then will give relief to some of the stress in my life. The majority of what I'd consider most stressful for me is related to health issues. Those type of stressors are harder to be able to put behind you because they are recurring and oftentimes long lasting. So I've found that alleviating fears, concerns or questions I have about a particular health issue helps to reduce some of the stress elements of those situations. I've found that education to obtain knowledge on something stressing me out is a powerful tool in teaching me how to cope with that situation. Sometimes I'm stressing because of a fear or perhaps a perception I have about a particular health issue, once I research it, educate myself on it I often learn that my fears are unfounded. Once I realize that the fears I had are not likely to happen then I find that I can put that individual stressor to rest.

Addressing the stressors in our lives one by one can be very tiring and in itself can become a stressor. Keeping our lives as simple as can be is another way I've found to minimize stress. Not taking on too much responsibility is something I've had to learn the hard way. I tend to take on way more then I should and I'm slowly learning to cut back. It is very hard for me to not commit myself to something when I'm asked to participate in some way. Saying No is a big problem for me. I'm getting better but it is still a big problem.

I do not believe there is a clear-cut way to rid our lives of stress and personally I don't feel we'll ever be successful at eliminating stress from our lives entirely. All we can do is try to keep our lives simple, calm and not over obligated. We can't do more than we can do and often we think we can do more than we truly can.

Guess who?: Yep you ain't dreamin LOL.

2006-12-16T22:17:00.000-05:00

Surprise, surprise, surprise, LOL. I know it has been too long since I've posted on my blog. I just hadn't had the chance to post. Ok, that isn't true really, I just haven't took the time to post. I have missed blogging though. I really enjoy reading blogs and sharing my rants. So I am going to try to get back into it. I may not be as prolific as I was before and only post a few times a week as not to burn myself out. I won't bore you with all that has been going on since I last posted in this first note but you can bet your bippy I'll catch you up a little at a time over the next few weeks. I hope you have all been well.

Holding Your Hand

2006-10-13T00:16:00.000-04:00

Every moment seems like eternity when you are going through a situation alone. Many times we go through things by ourselves because we choose to. We tend to take inward the pain and suffering that we endure instead of reaching out and giving others the opportunity to hold our hand and be there for us. However, when we take a kind person's hand and hold onto it as we travel roads of discouragement and paths of disappointment we often find at the end of the ordeal that we got through it better than we thought we would have. Often we learned some very valuable lessons as a result. Perhaps that extra support by that guiding hand made all the difference. When we are going through a difficult period in our life it truly does help to reach out to others and allow them to support you through it.

When I have gone through difficult periods in life I had this desperate feeling that someone needed to save me. I was seeking information to find a way to stop whatever the problem was rather than find a way to live with it. What I needed was not to be rescued but to be supported. I had been so obsessed with rescuing myself and trying to find a way to make it all go away that I hadn't allowed my family to support me. I had a life line thrown at me by my family but I had just left it dangling in those unsteady waters instead of grabbing it and pulling myself up to safety.

I hope that each of you will grab the hand of support that is extended to you when you are facing adversity. Whether this be a hand from a family member or friend. I hope that you'll quickly take it and grip it ever so tightly and allow their strength and love to flow through you and help you get through whatever you must face.

Coping with life

2006-08-31T11:57:00.000-04:00

I can understand how people abandon their ideals, what they believe deep within and then lapse into despair. When they are hit over and over by hardships, when they peek out into the real world and see such chaos it is no wonder that their spirits are broken. Their pure and good ideals seem somewhat absurd when put up against the uncertainties that this world we live in represents. Not only uncertainties but this world we live in holds some horrible realities. Yet, in spite of it all, taking everything bad into consideration, this world we live in is wonderful and there are a lot of good, moral, loving and caring people in it.

When we are facing our most difficult days, the ones that feel as though the earth is going to open up and swallow us. The days when the chaos that surrounds us makes us feel that it is impossible to build enough of a foundation to stand and get through what life has in store for us. The moments when not only our own life seems too heavy to carry but when we sense the suffering of so many others and cannot find in our soul the strength to go on. These are the times when we must look up into the heavens and behold the beauty and find in our heart the courage to put one foot in front of the other and walk toward the light in front of us that represents hope for a better tomorrow.

At moments like this we may begin to not care about our future. Whether we live or die seems irrelevant because suddenly it doesn't seem possible to get through today. The fact is that this world will go on no matter if we live or die but it will not be the same without us in it. We made a difference in this world simply by being a part of it. History would not be what it is without our birth and the life we have lived. We have a hand in shaping the future and we should take that responsibility serious.

The choices we make each day will shape our life and the life of those around us. We can choose to live our life to the fullest and not concentrate so much on the bad things and allow things to just fall into place as they happen and not dwell so much on the what-if's. We can also choose to dwell only on the bad things and while we are doing this we'll miss out on all the good that our future holds. These sound like brave words but they aren't. When I'm alone, I cry and I realize how tough things are and may be in the future. I fail many times at being strong, and always looking at the good and not dwelling on the bad. The key though is to pick yourself up after those failures and brush yourself off and gird yourself with every measure of happiness you can grasp and move on to the next day.

Opinions

2006-08-24T08:35:00.000-04:00

I choose to believe as I do and respect other peoples right to do the same. I expect to be able to present my view just as others should be able to present theirs and I never try to change theirs. I think sometimes we try to push our own views onto others, I guess that is human nature to a degree but I've learned to avoid this. I also have learned from other peoples views at times and what I learned has changed mine but no one enjoys it when someone presents their views in a way which makes you feel like its being crammed down your throat or that you are being judged personally by how you believe. I haven't felt that from anyone here I must say. Everyone has their own unique views on life and other things and they are personal to them just as mine are to me.

I'm still here

2006-08-24T08:26:00.000-04:00

Hey folks I'm still here. I haven't had a lot of time to blog but I have been reading others. I hope all are well.

JobBenet

2006-08-17T07:39:00.000-04:00

The confessed killer of JonBenet Ramsey is set to be returned to Colorado This is a good ending with a sad history behind it. We all remember the story and the years of accusations surrounding her parents. I have said many times that how terrible it would be if they were telling the truth about what happened to their daughter. They always maintained their innocence. Even the police fed the media with talk that pointed to her parents. Only a few years ago after a change in Boulders police leaders was it admitted that evidence did lead elsewhere. Now they have tracked down their man and he has confessed. I'm sad that Patsy didn't live to see the truth come out but she is hopefully with her daughter now and enjoying a reunion. This goes to show that in cases that are hard to find a motive too often police home in on the easiest explanation which requires the least amount of work in an attempt to wrap up the case. If they could find this man now clear on the other side of the world then just imagine how soon they could have solved it early on if they had even tried to investigate that the parents were telling the truth. I know that with statistics as they are that family must be looked at and considered as the possible suspect but that is not the only angle police should focus on. There should be a team of investigators looking at each possibility. This family was put through the ringer to the extent of even being brought up to a grand jury trying to get an indictment. Just imagine if they had got it then these parents could have been put into jail for a crime they didn't commit. Compounding their grief for their daughter. I think the Boulder police owe this family at the very least a very public apology. They had the ability to stand and condemn them so now let's see if they have the decency to apologize for the many years of agony they put onto this family. Better yet let's see if the media focuses on the truth here as much as they did on the false accusations.

Columbus Dilema

2006-08-13T23:31:00.000-04:00

From our youth we are taught that Christopher Columbus "discovered" America. He is hailed as a great person in history which is evident merely by the fact of there being a day of celebration in his honor. Discovery would seem to imply that it was new land yet to be found or inhabited. This couldn't be further from the truth. If this had been true than why in 1493 following his so called 1492 "voyage of discovery" did he need to return with 17 ships which at that time qualified as an invasion force? His diaries and other documentation show a glimpse into his wish to overpower and even annilate those who resided on the lands he had came upon and that he desired the riches that was there. He positioned himself as governor over the Caribbean Islands and mainland America. Using Espanola (today's Haiti and Dominican Republic) as his headquarters he instituted slavery and the killing of Native Taino's and in time Native inhabitants on all the lands he took control of. Does this sound like the land he "discovered" was uninhabited?

During my own research of Native studies I've learned that what is taught in school text books given to our children bear only part of the story and even go as far as to glorify the horrible dececration he brought to the original inhabitants of the lands he took occupation of.

The truth is that on the day Christopher Columbus first sailed his ship to the shore and stepped foot on the Western Hemisphere there was an estimated 100 million people living there. From my research it appears that on many levels we Americans have been fed and have embraced a lie.

This merely touches the edge of this topic but I hope others will research for themselves and beware who our children are taught to admire. For all his accomplishments there are many elements that when weighed show him not to have been the person we are taught in youth.

Do you always vote?

2006-08-06T10:42:00.000-04:00

I became politically motivated back during the Jimmy Carter vs. Gerald Ford campaign. I was too young to vote then but it really interested me. I watched every minute of television coverage regarding the campaigns, conventions and the election. From then on I had a keen interest in politics and as soon as I was old enough to vote I couldn't wait to send in that registration.

I never had any interest in being personally involved in politics it was more of a deep rooted sense that in order to bring this world to a place where we can live in peace we must make correct decisions about who we put into power. I believe that we should view it as our duty to vote. I feel that I have no right to complain about how things are run in this country if I'm not committed enough to stand up for my belief and vote my conscience. Our vote counts and when we allow our voices to be heard through our vote and each individual vote is collected and grouped together we can send a message to the government that will definitely be heard.

Sadly in recent years I've seen it become more of a popularity contest rather than about the issues important to our way of life. You'll hear media coverage about the way the candidates dress, speak, walk, etc. Sure you can get to know something about a person by observing their demeanor and actions but this shouldn't be the "know all and end all" in our decision making process. I've heard people comment that they aren't voting for a candidate because they seem dry when giving a speech. SOooooooooo what is up with that? What in the world does that have to do with the issues that are important? In my view, that is a shallow way to decide who you are going to vote into public office.

People better wake up and begin focusing on the issues that matter and vote for the candidate that is truly focusing on those issues. This is about who has the peoples best interest at heart and has the experience and gumption to follow their heart and fight for us. If we begin to focus on the issues and choose our candidates according to that focus then it will force the candidates and the media to realign their campaigns in that direction. The political world is absurd at times and very out of control but we as the voters can force them to get back inline with what is best for this country. Another thing I really stay away from is being committed to only voting for a candidate of one political party. I vote for the candidate not for the political party of which they are affiliated. No matter the affiliation if the candidate makes me feel that they are the best candidate for the job then they get my vote.

Traveling Today

2006-08-05T13:21:00.000-04:00

I have been in the beautiful state of Tennessee for the last 9 days and am traveling back to Michigan today. I am posting via my blackberry. Got on the road around 9am and expect to arrive in Michigan around 8 or so tonight. We are in the mountains of West Virginia as I write this. It is so beautiful here. The views are spectacular. If you like to go white water rafting the area near Charleston WV is about as good as it gets in this country. We just passed the capital building for the state and the dome on the top resembles the rotunda on the Nations capital but it is gold toned. For a state capital it is quite breathtaking. I love the blue ridge mountains and have many fond childhood memories. I will post comments under this heading today as I continue my trip.

Why do we exist?

2006-08-05T00:08:00.000-04:00

My first reaction is to say I don't know. However, I know in my mind that we all exist for a reason and with a purpose in life. Jokingly I've said that I was born with a big mouth and that my purpose in life was to suffer adversity so I could use my big mouth to tell the world about it. . I don't really have a clear answer for this one because I think I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Yes I'm 44 and I don't think I've fully matured. LOL. In all seriousness I believe that you don't really understand the reasons for your life and why what happened to you has until your last days. I think as you go through life that each day is another step in getting to know who you are and finding your purpose in life. Different events on each day of our life shapes us into the person we are destined to become. Sometimes we take detours and then get back on track. With that in mind it is hard to say at any stop along the way what your true purpose is and what the true course of your life will be. What if you've stopped to make that analysis during a detour...then you don't have any idea how your life will be shaped once you get back on the right road. I just take each day for what it is and hope that my decisions for that day will lead me to where I should go. The question of why I exist is really one I don't think I wish to answer because there is no real purpose to examining that in my mind. I do exist and that is all that really matters. I exist and I should make the best out of each day in my life.

What does survival mean to you?

2006-08-04T16:03:00.000-04:00

In the wake of Hurricane Katrina and so many other disasters in recent years the thoughts of survival are heavy on our minds but what about the rest of us? What does survival mean to us? Survival to me means a lot of different things to different people. I will just name a few that are personal to me. Survival is living each day to the fullest. Learning to like who you are even if it is to spite something we don't like about ourselves or our life. Learning to search our soul and get to know who we really are and to locate the inner strengths that we didn't know existed. To learn compassion for others but also to learn how to be compassionate and forgiving to our own selves. To empower ourselves with knowledge about what we must face and to take any obstacle and turn it into a stepping stone.

I also believe that survival means facing realities and not hesitating to reach out to others when we are in need. Sometimes we confuse support for pity and put a wall up so we don't allow someone to support us. It isn't a sign of failure to allow someone to help us through a difficult time. They too must learn compassion and how can they if we don't allow them the opportunity to shower us with theirs?

Have I survived? Well I'm traveling down that path. I'm not going to give up. I will be weary at times and there will be moments of despair. I will need shoulders to lean on. But I also will be able to enjoy the love of my family, the true joy of my grandchildren. I'll see wondrous things occur. I have so much life ahead of me. I also love to laugh and plan to do a lot of it. Life has its ups and downs for me but when I compare the rocky parts with the happy parts, the good by far outweigh the bad. It isn't easy to always see that. When I'm going through a difficult period I sometimes can only see the bad that I'm being forced to endure. I have to make a conscious effort to see past the bad and refocus myself on positive thoughts. Sometimes I accomplish this while at other times I must try over and over again before I begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Close your eyes during these dark moments and listen to your soul. The hope is there, you just have to allow it through. When you close your eyes and remain in darkness reach out your hand and allow someone to hold it while you find your way.

Another day of catching up

2006-08-03T16:27:00.000-04:00

I spent today reading up on the news and boy oh boy is there a lot going on to blog about. I plan on getting to that perhaps as early as this evening. I am planning a nice night out for dinner with friends and am looking forward to it as I've not been getting out much. I even got fixed up which I've not been doing lately. I didn't have the energy to put on makeup LOL but I did today. One of my problems has been that my blood count hit rock bottom with treatments and it pretty much put me on my back. Finally my blood count is improving and thus I am beginning to feel better. There were times I didn't have the energy to brush my hair or so it seemed. I am just so happy this appears to be all behind me. To those who read my blog and have blogs of their own I will be visiting tonight to catch up there also when I return home. So hold on to your caps folks because IIIIIIIIII Ammmmmmmmmmm Backkkkkkkkkkkk! You know how outspoken I can be well I've been keeping my opinions to myself too long now so I'm in withdrawl so it is hard to tell what I'll write about here LOL.

Hi Gang

2006-08-02T12:13:00.000-04:00

Well it has been a while since I've posted. My life has been so hectic that finding time to blog has been near impossible. I am in the midst of planning a move in a few months and that alone has taken up a lot of my time. My health is on the road to better days which I am so relieved. It has been very stressful dealing with so many doctors, tests and just the reality of being ill. Thankfully it seems to have turned out for the best. I am so behind on news and such so you can expect for me to be adding a lot of entries over the next few days as I love to put my two cents into everything in the news LOL. Hope all who read this are enjoying a wonderful day.

The power of forgiving ourselves

2006-06-15T06:58:00.000-04:00

There are times when faced with tough situations in life that I felt a sense of guilt as if somehow it was my fault. I reflected back on everything in my life that I had done wrong and immediately saw it as the reason for the adversity I was presently experiencing. In times such as this we tend to hold ourselves to harsher judgment then we do others. Suddenly those little things we did that seemed so small before are now these glooming bright blemishes on our lives and we see them as unforgivable and the possible cause for all that is wrong in our lives now. I suppose this is similar to the feelings of guilt that can be experienced by someone who has a family member pass away. All we can think of is 'What if I had done...?', 'If only I had been there...' or 'I wish I had told them....'

Some people linger at the stage of blaming themselves for a brief time and some much longer. There are no rules regarding how long it takes to cope with emotions as strong as these. However, I had to realize that I must face these feelings of guilt to put them to rest. I couldn’t ignore it hoping it would go away because then the emotions would have only eaten away at me. One of my favorite sayings is 'the only way to get past something is through it'. We must travel through it to get to the other side. We can't side-step it or jump over it.

I had to begin this road to forgiveness by taking a look at the situation at hand. I had to look at what the facts were concerning the tough situation I was in the middle of. Was it something I had control over? Did I do what I thought was right? I had to learn to not focus on the "what ifs" and "if onlys" because they didn’t exist for me since those are things you do not have control over and cannot change. I had to remind myself that forgiving is not something that I’ve never done before. Although forgiving myself was a whole new ballgame. I am spiritual minded so I began by asking for forgiveness from the Great Creator, for the past deeds I was blaming myself for. I thought about the fact that I had forgiven my child of a mistake or for breaking something? I remembered the gentleness I felt toward my child or perhaps a parent or sibling over mistakes they had made. I thought about the forgiveness I have held in your heart for those who had wronged me. It's funny that we can readily forgive those around us, yet we can not seem to find compassion in our hearts for ourselves.

I came to the realization that I must try feeling some compassion for myself. I had to accept that those who love me have such compassion for me and if I could find a way to feel that for myself then I was well on the road to dealing with this. I knew that realization would allow me to see clearly the situation at hand and to see the potential blessing that had been bestowed on me. That's right blessing. This kindness and generosity to me would be the groundbreaking event which would lead to moving forward and getting past this tough time in my life.

I was raised that forgiveness is something to be sought after. We must search ourselves in-depth for the goodness we hold in our hearts so we can see the whole purpose of our lives. We must know that even though we make mistakes, we have problems, or we get off base in our journey through life instead of punishing ourselves in our thoughts and actions we should accept that we all make mistakes. We have an obligation to honor that goodness inside of us and the good qualities we have and the heart of compassion we have been given.

I personally played the blame game for a time and that kept me from forgiveness initially. I questioned my creator, the adversity and the situation I was in, I began the "Why me" syndrome? However, the important question I finally asked myself was “Don't you think it is time you offer forgiveness to yourself.” Know this…, bad things happen in this sinful world and I could write a whole other story on the reasons they do but I'll save that for another day. What I grasped from all I experienced is this, that pain and suffering that we all bear can be turned around to do many good things. People who have met great challenges have done tremendous things and used it to bring blessings upon their own lives and the lives of others. Tough times can teach us so much about life.

We are often touched by the stories from people who show what seems as such courage and strength to overcome adversity. We must learn to look past the bad part of our situation and see the good that can come from it. Perhaps there is a hidden purpose for our life. Whatever life brings our way we should look for direction as to where this situation should lead us.

Karl Rove: Innocent or just getting off easy?

2006-06-13T20:23:00.000-04:00

Do you think that Patrick Fitzgerald couldn't come up with enough findings of criminal conduct to indict Karl Rove or do you feel he had the evidence but it wasn't enough to win a conviction considering who he'd have to battle with? I think that there had to be significant evidence or the investigation of Karl Rove wouldn't have went on for this length of time. Some may try to say that this is because Fitzgerald refused to admit that he had no case. I personally believe that the special prosecutor showed restraint by taking the time to investigate as long as he did without bringing forth indictments. Lets be clear here, just with what we now know from Libby and Novak show that Rove was involved. Sure he did it so that he could claim he wasn't directly involved but if anyone believes that then... well... lets just say... remember who was behind the Bush mobile taking us to war. Did you believe them then? Do you believe them now? Did you learn your lesson? Today's outcome does nothing to prove the innocence of Karl Rove, only proves that justice doesn't always get its chance.

Spector gets a conscience

2006-06-13T07:20:00.000-04:00

Wow, Arlen Spector must have had an epiphany or something. Either that or he grew some hair on that chest and decided to get the corncob out of his rear and do what is right. I remember back in the day when he was about as conservative minded as they came. Remember Anita hill? But I think after reading the article below you'll agree that he may be coming around to being a decent person. I am also glad to see him not falling for Cheney's continued stall tactics.

" Washington CNN — The Republican chairman of a Senate committee said Sunday he is prepared to call telephone company officials to testify about a domestic wiretapping program if he doesn’t get cooperation in talks with the Bush administration.

“If we don’t get some results, I’m prepared to go back to demand hearings and issue subpoenas if necessary,” Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter told CNN’s “Late Edition.”After a public spat last week with Vice President Dick Cheney over congressional oversight of eavesdropping and other issues, Specter said Sunday that a telephone call and letter from Cheney Thursday marked a “step forward.”

Specter, chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, on Wednesday sent a stinging letter to Cheney threatening a “constitutional confrontation” and calling for increased cooperation from the administration on the National Security Agency’s no-warrant eavesdropping program.
Cheney responded in a letter Thursday saying the NSA doesn’t need congressional approval to run the program.

Cheney wrote that the administration is willing to work with Congress “in good faith” to reassure lawmakers concerned about the program. But he added, “there is no need for any legislation” authorizing the NSA to monitor calls between people in the United States and terrorism suspects overseas without a court order..."

When will it be over?

2006-06-12T09:07:00.000-04:00

Many Americans feel today that it was a mistake to enter Iraq and bring our men and women to war. Many Americans also feel that we were misled by the Bush Administration on the terms given to us as reason for the war. These questions in no way mean that the majority of Americans do not support the troops that are over there. We most certainly do support all the men and women who are placing their lives on the line in Iraq. Our main reason for the questions is because we care for the troops well being and safety and want them to come home as soon as possible. It is our support for these troops that became the driving force behind our questions and concerns over this war. Now that we are over there and in the midst of what daily on television seems as chaos what do we do? Many Americans feel that since we are there we have made the mess so we must clean it up and finish the job. My question now is.... When will the job be finished? What will it take to be able to declare completion? How long will we feel the need for our American men and women to be in harms way? When will enough be enough? Well one thing I am fairly certain of is that the answers to these questions will greatly depend on whether a republican or a democrat is in office next presidential term.

Suicides prompt new calls to shut Guantanamo - Yahoo! News

2006-06-12T09:02:00.000-04:00

Suicides prompt new calls to shut Guantanamo - Yahoo! News: "By Jane Sutton
Sun Jun 11, 4:06 PM ET

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The suicides of three Arab detainees at Guantanamo ignited new calls on Sunday for the United States to shut down the prison camp but a U.S. diplomat called their hangings a 'good PR move' to gain attention. "

Two Saudis and a Yemeni hanged themselves with clothes and bedsheets in maximum security cells on Saturday -- the first prisoners to die at Guantanamo since the United States began sending suspected al Qaeda and Taliban captives there in 2002.

Prisoner advocates blamed the Bush administration for the deaths and said the men were held under conditions that "for all intents and purposes had already taken their lives." Several countries urged Washington to shut the camp down.

"Their blood is on the hands of the Bush regime and their deaths will fuel the anger of the global Muslim community," said Cageprisoners.com, a Web site that draws attention to the cases of detained Muslims....

Read more: Suicides prompt new calls to shut Guantanamo - Yahoo! News

Hmmmmmmm you just gotta wonder!

2006-06-10T09:36:00.000-04:00

Over the years since the "war on terrorism" began everytime support for the administration dwindles there seems to be an amazing feat accomplished or dire situations occur that threatens national or homeland security. They come in almost precisely the right political moment. Although the last few haven't helped the administration as much as I believe they'd hoped. When the support dwindled for the situation in Afghanistan we saw the push to go into Iraq, now that the support has dwindled for the war in Iraq we hear the war drums beating against Iran. When are the American people going to wake up and realize that the only thing this administration knows is to take our men and women to war. They know nothing about running this country or if they do know how to do it they certainly aren't using their knowledge to help the average Americans. Enough is enough.

American Idol: disappointed

2006-06-09T11:04:00.000-04:00

I didn't get to keep up the blog on American Idol here due to my being absent for an extended amount of time. I was very shocked and disappointed when Chris was voted off and then I felt the final two should have been Katherine and Elliot, well that is if it was based on talent. Don't get me wrong Taylor seems like a great person and he can sing but there is no way he has better vocals than Katherine or even Elliot for that matter. This is a singing contest people not a personality contest. Oh well it doesn't matter because most of the top 12 will get offers anyway.

I have returned...Prepare yourselves LOL

2006-06-09T08:17:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone and I'm so sorry I've not been posting on my blog. I had a lot going on and there just wasn't enough time in the day to sit and write. I have missed it so much though. Writing is very therapeutic for me and it has made a difference in my life. I'm happy to say I am now back and plan on staying up on posting here even if it is just a short note. I hope this note finds you all well and enjoying warmer weather.

This Weeks Idol Results Show

2006-04-12T20:38:00.000-04:00

Tonight American Idol's result show is an hour long special beginning at 8:30 PM. The remaining finalist perform songs as a group singing songs such as "Another one bites the dust" which seems realistic LOL. Each one doing solos throughout the medley. I am ready for them to get down to business as this lil diddy wasn't very entertaining to me. I'd love to see Taylor go tonight but I suspect it won't be. Taylor isn't a bad singer don't get me wrong but he isn't the best and his stage presence is not far from bizarre in my opinion. They are all on the couches awaiting the results discussing what they miss from home. Kelly misses fried Okra. Sometimes I wonder if her ditzy personality is real or fake. Others said they missed important things like wife, kids but she misses Okra. Now family members are being shown on video telling the contestants how much they love them and how proud of them they are. This was a nice touch. Elliot seemed especially moved. They announce that next week the contestants will be working with Rod Stewart. I love him so I'm really looking forward to that. They show a clip with Taylors band that he typically performs with and they profess their loyalty, Taylor is then told he is safe. Katherine, they are talking with her parents telling how she has loved to sing from a young age. She was an adorable little girl. She is declared safe. Chris is from NC and his brother begins telling how they work in their family business of running a mill. They said they always knew Chris was meant for bigger things. Of course we all know Chris is safe. Going to commercial break leaves Ace, Elliot, Kelly, Bucky and Paris to hear their fate. Hmmmmmmmmmm I suspect it is Ace, Bucky or Paris. I suspect Elliot will be safe but you never know. I would have thought Taylor would have been gone weeks ago. Here we go.... Next up is Kelly, they check in with her grandfather who speaks of how the town is behind her and voting hard for her. She is safe. Now there is four left. Elliot is up next showing his mother who tells of him having health problems as a child, he had severe allergies, hearing problems and was diagnosed at age 17 with diabetes. She speaks of how proud of him she is for how he has persevered and is such a good man. Elliot is in the bottom three, I'm kinda shocked. Elliot gets to perform, I guess if they are in the bottom three tonight they get to perform. I'm not a huge fan of Elliot but he is a better singer than Taylor. I suspect Taylor has a huge fan base because his band travels around the country performing and they advertise for him at all their gigs to rake in the votes. Ace is up next, his parents and brother speak of how he is a fast runner and an outdoorsman. They speak of how he doesn't fear a struggle and that is who Ace is. Ryan now tells Ace that he is in the bottom three. Ace performs and sounds better tonight but he needs to trim the hair under his arms before wearing another tank top, YUCK. Bucky and Paris are up now and they show that in Rockingham they lost the race track there due to schedule changes with Nascar and that Bucky is giving that city something to be happy about. Now they are speaking about Paris. Her mother is talking how Paris wanted to be a gynecologist instead of a singer but she tried out and fell in love with American Idol. Now they announce which one is in the bottom three. Paris is safe. So the bottom three are Elliot, Ace and Bucky. Which one goes home? Ok, all three are brought to the front of the stage. Simon thinks Ace will go home. Leaving tonight is.......................Bucky. Ace and Elliot are safe. I sort of think Ace should have been the one to go home but the votes are in and it is Bucky who goes home this week.

Imigration rights

2006-04-11T12:23:00.000-04:00

I have hesitated to get into the imigration discusions of recent days. I read in the news and watch on television that protesters are fighting for the rights of "illegal" imigrants. I don't understand where they would have rights in this country if they have not followed the legal process to become a citizen or at the very least to be here legally. This has nothing to do with discrimination it is the laws of citizenship. It would be wrong to not allow imigrants a legal way to come to this country but that is not the case. There is a legal way to come to this country and that is how you get rights here.

I am saddened by the reasons they need to come here. I would love for those in poor countries to enjoy the opportunities in this country but we can't put our laws aside to let people from other countries to come here illegally.

Having laws in place to provide only a legal way for imigrants to be here is not discriminating. I would be the first person to speak out against discrimination. I am Native American and have experienced discrimination so I do understand how that feels.

Idol Results show

2006-04-05T21:31:00.000-04:00

Well another one bites the dust tonight. I would like to see Taylor go but I doubt he will. Sooooo here we go. The three with the least votes this week are Elliot, Paris and Mandisa and Paris was allowed to return to her seat which left Mandisa and Elliot remaining and the one going home this week is Mandisa. I can't end without saying Yahooooo over hearing Kenny Rogers perform. I have been a huge fan for many years. Shhh I know I'm admitting I'm old.

Tom Delay

2006-04-05T19:18:00.000-04:00

Tom Delay must think we are all stupid. The sad reality is that there are people who will believe his story. If he truthfully resigned his seat in the House and pulled out of his bid for re-election to get the attention off his republican district then he would have done it before the primary. Let's face it he saw the writing on the wall that he would not win so he is quitting. Badabing badaboom end of story. He is now just trying to appease those who urged him to allow someone the chance to rescue that seat from the grasp of the Democrats. Further evidence that they are concerned they may lose control of the House in upcoming elections.

American Idol/Nashville Star

2006-04-04T23:11:00.000-04:00

It is sad when you are recuperating how easy it is to get hooked on television. This is so unlike me to as I don't typically watch much tv except for cable news.

Anyway, I am hooked on both American Idol and Nashville Star. I just started watching Nashville star so just getting to know them but I disagree with tonights cut of Melanie Torres. I think Mandisa did the worse tonight on Idol but she has too much talent to go home. I don't like Taylor and would like to see him go. Bucky shined this week. I liked Ace and Chris too. What do you all think?

Catching Up

2006-04-04T21:22:00.000-04:00

I am going to try and post here on a daily basis even if it is just a post
to document my daily activities. I love blogging but have got out of the
habit a bit while I was recuperating. I am eager to get back into the swing
of blogging. I also am going to start using my blackberry to blog so when a
thought hits me I can run to my handheld and yakk away on my blog about it.
So look out I'm back :)

Debra Lafave: Beyond her case with double standards

2006-03-23T14:36:00.000-05:00

I'm sure many have read and/or listened to news reports regarding the charges brought against a teacher Debra Lafave who was 23 at the time for having a sexual relationship with a 14 year old male student at the school where she was employed. It seems that the boys parents didn't want their son to testify so they were in favor of a plea agreement that the Judge refused to consider. The Judge's decision along with the parents refusal to have their son testify forced the procecuters to dismiss the charges against Lafave earlier this week.

I have read discussion about a double standard. I'm really not going to get into that at this point. What I'd like to acknowledge is that she definitely did know that her actions were wrong. She openly admitted to that in the beginning of all of this. Her comment "I know what I did was wrong" says it all. Sure a 14 year old boy will perhaps have a crush on an attractive teacher as so many of us have in our youth. However, she is the responsible authority figure that should have never pursued any sexual, intimate or even romantic encounter with this boy. Even if the boy pursued it first (which there is no evidence of this) this woman should have not surrendered to it.

I have some experience in this field and there are many people with Bi-Polar in the United States and some of them do have times when not being treated properly where they engage in risky behavior but at no time is their perception of right from wrong not available to them. They may have urges that could be hard for them to respond to negatively but they still know whether responding to the urge would be right or wrong. So therefore by legal standards I feel that a Bi-polar claim in order to excuse her from guilt here is very misguided.

Another point that came to me today is that we feel that this woman was wrong in sexually enticing this young boy. I agree that she most definitely was wrong and her actions should require punishment. However, we excuse the behavior of commercials being broadcast which do the same thing. Couldn't the Pizza Hut commercial starring Jessica Simpson walking in all sexy and hot going up to a very young boy in a seductive manner be viewed as enticement? I think society better take a close look at things and stop this steady decline in morality before more and more children and young adults are placed in harms way.

The diagnosis and beyond

2006-03-19T12:48:00.000-05:00

The beginning of December 2005 the day came when time stood still for just a few moments, or so it seemed. I still remember this day. I can still see my husband sitting across from my doctor with me. I’ll never forget his expression, the look in his eyes, the way the doctor looked across his desk with what seemed to me as a sympathetic gaze. And then he spoke those words to me. I don’t know if it is the way this doctor said the words or if it is the way I perceived them. It felt like he took the time to pronounce each syllable. Each syllable seemed to drag on and on.
~ You………. Have………Can...cer! ~

My first impression was it must be caught early so no big deal. I remember feeling this overwhelming sense of relief that it wasn’t worse. After a few seconds I shrugged and signed and replied “Ok, so it was caught early and everything will be fine.” His response sent my world into a tail spin that still is turning uncontrollably. “I wish I could tell you that you will be ok but I can't do that. You have a form that is fairly advanced.

Time hung there for so long. I could sense my heart beating in my toes. I just kept seeing him mouth those words over and over and over. I wanted to rewind what I was watching and make it say something different. Then I began that decent into uncertainty. From that moment every aspect of our lives have changed.

I felt in shock. I felt like I had been pushed off of a tall building with only the assurance that there may be a safety net on the ground below. The uncertainty of what would happen when I reached the solid ground was unbearable. Would I splat on the concrete or would there be a soft cushion to protect me from harm? I felt like my life was suddenly out of control. Sometimes I felt panic, sometimes anger and at other times I was so numb even the heartache from the crying didn’t create a sensation. I thought that all of my dreams, expectation and hopes would disappear. I thought that everything I had worked towards was going to all be for nothing. I immediately looked at my husband sitting beside me and I know I had as much fear in my eyes as I saw in his.

My family was thrusted into the same situation as I was. The same unsteady waters, the same desperate fight to survive, the same fears and the same uncertainty. Issues we had never even given thought to suddenly become the most important issues in our lives. They had to watch me go through endless visits to the doctor, unending tests, and be there by my side to assure me that everything would be ok even when they wasn’t sure it would be. They had to be strong, even when they felt as weak emotionally by this news as I. They had the same fears but had to be the strong one so I could use my energy to fight.

The next appointment with my doctor brought some comfort. He reassured me to a degree that instant death was not pending. When we discussed treatment and I was told that surgery and radiation treatment was definite and as for chemo therapy, we'd have to see what they found during the surgery and the post-surgical pathology report. I thought right then I would rather die. I’ll admit I am vain and my looks mattered. To have to face the fact that I may loose my hair was priority on my mind right then. As silly as it sounds I guess you must get through the vanity of that moment before you suddenly put things into perspective.

The appointments, treatments began to take their toll on my physical well being. I was growing more fatigued daily, was achy all over. I was so tired and worn out. I couldn't tolerate food and was already losing weight at a rapid pace. I wasn't in a situation where I needed to lose weight so the rapid loss made me just look sick and confirmed the diagnosis in my mind. It was hard to ignore the fact I was facing an illness when I felt like crap and now was even beginning to look like crap. With each visit my difficulties in swallowing worsened which I was told may be a side effect of putting me to sleep for the surgery. It had, in fact, progressed to the point that to swallow water caused severe pain. The doctor said I was having an adverse reaction. I celebrated in the fact that my surgery did go well and all I had to pursue now was radiation treatment. I tried to keep my spirits raised by joking about it but deep inside I was hurting. In some ways I had given up on life in my mind. I had even had thoughts of plans for my death. I didn't think the treatment was doing anything or at least not doing something fast enough to please me.

My attitude sucked and my doctor was livid with me during one visit and told me that I was taking my choice to live away because of my attitude and that he had patients that wanted his help. When I was one of those patients, Give him a call. He told me he was trained to help people live not die, and to call him when I changed my attitude. Well, I was equally livid when he left the room. I thought, “How dare he speak to me that way.” Eventually, it sunk in what he was saying and I realized I wanted to live. I have changed my attitude and I am fighting like you would never believe to get well.

Every time a new hurdle presents itself it is still like you are being plunged into unsteady waters and are on the road to a new journey. A trip you are not too sure you wish to travel. I will never know what the future holds but I would not have known that even if I had not been diagnosed with an illness. I have to live my life for today and choose to turn this journey into one that will be fruitful, and hopefully help others. All I can do is work as hard as I can to create a quality of life that is worth living. I will have confidence in myself because I have met one of life’s toughest challenges and I am succeeding.

I know now what drove me to depression in the early days and what frightened me about my diagnosis in the beginning. I felt helpless. I felt like I had no control over my own life, my own future, my own health. I couldn’t fix the disease. I didn’t have any of the answers I so desperately sought after. I have now learned to educate myself and to accept that there are some things about this disease that I won’t have answers for. I must accept that I won’t know what this disease will do to me but I also need to realize that by the same token I don’t know what it won’t do to me either.

When I was first diagnosed I had been so obsessed with rescuing myself and trying to find a way to make the disease go away that I hadn’t allowed my family to support me. I had a life line thrown at me by my family but I had just left it dangling in those unsteady waters instead of grabbing it and pulling myself up to safety. Now, looking back in hind sight I realize that before I could receive the kind of support I needed, I had to accept my own limitations, understand my fears, and respect my feelings. I think that gathering information is a constructive way of coping, but when you carry it to the extreme, as I did, it’s a way of running away from your feelings. I was trying to find an escape from the reality of the situation. Unfortunately it wasn't there and still isn't there today.

That has all changed for me now. I’ve learned better ways to handle my emotions since then to. It’s true. There is a bit of temporary comfort in ‘denial.’ Perhaps if you ignore it, it will just go away. But when it doesn’t and something leaves you no choice but to face it, often you can’t handle it. You just shut down. Family members should encourage you by letting you know they’ll be there for you no matter what. I have had to face more things than any human should ever have to face but other people have faced far worse. Keeping a smile on my face is not an easy task. I feel down and I cry and at times I get in an angry rage. In the end, nothing has changed, all the crying and screaming and being depressed didn’t make any of the problems go away. Neither did ignoring it. You have no choice, unfortunately, but to face this and make the best out of it.

My recent life hasn’t been a bed of roses but it could be a lot worse. I have to admit I am scared. I’m not ready to die and if I do, I’m going out kicking and screaming. I accept that I have a very serious disease but I am convinced that fighting it will be more successful then surrender. I’m simply not ready to let this beat me. If anyone can beat this thing, it’s me. I can fight harder to survive than cancer can fight to kill me. Fortunately, my family made me see a reason I had to get through this. I finally came to terms with the revelation that I had confused support with pity. I felt if I allowed anyone to help me or to be there for me emotionally, then I was allowing them to pity me. I even had dismissed love at times thinking it too was pity. When I realized the difference it was easier to accept help and love from others.

I'm happy to report that I am almost through my radiation treatments and it appears that no further treatment will be required. Since I didn't have to have chemo therapy I never had any hair loss which I had worried about in the initial phase of coping. Now I wouldn't really care as long as I got to live. I do have a followup surgery I will have to get through but after everything else that seems minor. So it seems as though I've won, well no matter what happens from this point on I have won in many ways. I've learned so much about my self and my inner strength and most of all I've learned how wonderful it is to see life through my new eyes. I now see life as it is meant to be.... PRESCIOUS.

Learning to accept the hand dealt

2006-03-13T12:09:00.000-05:00

I still long to wake up and find out that it all has just been a bad dream. Like how Dorothy woke up in the Wizard of Oz and learned that it had all been a dream. Instead I have had to accept the reality that I do have cancer and that this disease is a permanent part of my life. A part that I must accept and must deal with. A part I cannot change no matter how hard I hope to. It is not a dream. It is as real as it gets. Even after treatment is finished and I am found to be cancer free it will remain a part of my life in so many ways.

This diagnosis or as I refer to as "this painful thorn in my flesh", has been a true blessing in many ways. My character has changed. My ambitions and goals for my life are very different than what they were before my diagnosis. I am more compassionate, caring and supportive to the needs of others. I am stronger and my life has attained a richer meaning. Most of all I have got to know my inner self and found a way to like me to spite all I’ve been going through recently.

When this news that seemed so tragic was thrown into my life I was active, happy and thought I knew just where my life was headed. My fears were few. Since then I have had to re-adapt many aspects of my home, my life, my way of thinking and my goals. I still do have ultimate goals and one is reaching to find a way to bring a cure for this disease. Although going through this has certainly added to the difficulty in my journey since that day of my diagnosis, it has also made me more sure and determined of my decision to survive and win this battle.

I do feel that I had to accept this disease as a part of me. This was not easy but I had to find a way to allow this disease to be a part of my life. I am not saying to give into the disease but learn to accept it. I had to learn to respect its power and pacify its peaks. Things didn’t then and won’t always go smoothly and I have learned to expect the unexpected. I had to learn that I can be happy and lead a prosperous life even though I have this illness.

I will admit that I now have many fears I didn’t have before. I worry each day that this disease could somehow be linked genetically and place my granddaughters at greater risk. I know that if that were to happen it would be a far more devastating blow than my own affliction. My own independence feels threatened. My own right to survive feels like a war I must wage. So, what is the meaning of all this suffering? I truly don’t know the real answer to that question. I do believe that being diagnosed with cancer has refined my character and has taught me to rely on my inner strength. I have learned to dig into my soul and find courage I never knew I possessed before illness entered my life. Think about it: Many people, despite their illness, have been able to accomplish their goals. Somehow, they found the strength to succeed.

I have made many new friends and have joined a family of support that has changed my life in ways I never imagined. The people I have met are strong in spirit and very compassionate, loving and they find the determination to succeed in the hopes to help others in the same situation. Together we persevere through the times when life is a struggle and fear is great, we celebrate when life is good and our health is improving, we have learned to be thankful for having each other in our lives.

I personally have learned to be flexible and live each day as today and worry about tomorrow when it arrives. It is never easy or fun to live with an illness but I must realize that every person on this earth has obstacles to overcome in their life. This is mine. Many of life’s most amazing people have overcome physical challenges and gone on to make awesome contributions. My philosophy is “You have only failed if you fail to try.” I hope that by my sharing my story it will encourage everyone to find your inner strength to survive what life has tossed in your lap. You don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out and take a hand offered in support and we’ll get through this together.

Muslim outrage over cartoon

2006-02-23T11:19:00.000-05:00

I am a person who is not prejudice in the very least and am comfortable with sharing my country with those who come here for a better life. But facts are facts and my friend Lightening makes a great point in his comments below.....

Lightnings Blog: "Food for Thought
Muslim outrage , who is kidding who here...

OK! ... let's do a little historical review. Just some lowlights:

Muslims fly commercial airliners into buildings in New York City, killing thousands. No Muslim outrage.

Muslim officials block the exit where school girls are trying to escape a burning building because their faces were exposed. No Muslim outrage.

Muslims cut off the heads of three teenage girls on their way to school in Indonesia. A Christian school. No Muslim outrage.

Muslims murder teachers trying to teach Muslim children in Iraq. No Muslim outrage.

Muslims murder over 80 tourists with car bombs outside caf�s and hotels in Egypt. No Muslim outrage.

A Muslim attacks a missionary children's school in India. Kills six. No Muslim outrage.

Muslims slaughter hundreds of children and teachers in Beslan, Russia. Muslims shoot children in the back. No Muslim outrage.

Let's go way back. Muslims kidnap and kill athletes at the Munich Summer Olympics. No Muslim outrage.

Muslims fire rocket-propelled grenades into schools full of children in Israel. No Muslim outrage.

Muslims murder more than 50 commuters in attacks on London subways and buses. Over 700 are injured. No Muslim outrage.

Muslims massacre dozens of innocents at a Passover Seder. No Muslim outrage.

Muslims murder innocent vacationers in Bali. No Muslim outrage.

Muslim newspapers publish anti-Semitic cartoons. No Muslim outrage

Muslims are involved, on one side or the other, in almost every one of the 125+ shooting wars around the world. No Muslim outrage.

Muslims beat the charred bodies of Western civilians with their shoes, then hang them from a bridge. No Muslim outrage.

Newspapers in Denmark and Norway publish cartoons depicting Mohammed. Muslims are outraged.

Dead children. Dead tourists. Dead teachers. Dead doctors and nurses. Death, destruction and mayhem around the world at the hands of Muslims... no Muslim outrage... but publish a cartoon depicting Mohammed with a bomb in his turban and all hell breaks loose. It must be nice to have low standards and still fail to meet them

Hey Gang I'mmmmmmmmm back LOL

2006-02-23T10:54:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. WOW it has been so long since I was able to post a blog here. I had to go through radiation therapy which wasn't fun at all. YUCKity yuck yuck but hey I made it through it. Now it is all over and I still have all my hair since I didn't have to have chemotherapy. Well don't laugh... that is something to be thankful for. Hopefully this rough health period is over and I'm well on my way to a healthy long life. I will admit though that I thought radiation therapy was symptom free but it wasn't at all. Of course having it in the region of the abdomen didn't help in that but I did have a lot of gastrointestinal side effects and I won't gross you out by explaining any further (grin). I've also lost about 20 pounds which I didn't really need to lose but hey I now can fit in those teeny jeans at American Eagle that I loved from afar for so long. Ok ok I'm really trying to find the good in all that I've been through so humor me. Well I'm back so watch out I've been lying around now for weeks with all these super blog posts building up so day by day I'll be ranting here so just suck up and take it. Ahhhhhh you know one thing you love most about me is my big mouth NOOOOOOOOOT... (giggle).

Facing Fear

2006-02-07T14:23:00.000-05:00

I don't usually share religious thoughts on this blog but I felt the need to share this today. I hope to be back posting soon on a regular basis as I'm recuperating yet again from another surgery.

"it is the Unknown that nearly drives us nutso."

This is actually a form of fear that many of us have. We fear so many things in our lives. I have had to come to a quick realization about a few things recently along this area. Fear is a common problem. Some of our fears are legitimate but some of them may be groundless. Either way they can mean anguish for the person living in fear. We sometimes worry about things that aren't real. We imagine that illness is going to wreck havoc with our bodies, or even kill us. We also worry about things in our families, their safety, etc. Some worry that a child may get their illness. I've heard women speak about that they fear that their husband will leave them if they get really ill. Their fear had no basis because their husband to that point hadn't done anything to warrant these thoughts.

Not being afraid is an element of trusting God and of being a godly person, and of being a godly wife. Being fearless is included in the description of the excellent wife in Proverbs 31 See Proverbs 31:21,25. Peter tells us to "do what is right without being frightened by any fear" 1 Peter 3:5,6. God's word does acknowledge that fear may be a problem but we are to respond to fears in a biblical manner. So many times our fear opens the door to panic and with panic we often get carried away and the fears that develop don't correlate with the actual circumstances. We have added reasons to be afraid without any concrete facts.

Think about it, how many of us have had this feeling that something bad is going to happen? That is senseless fear of something that may never happen but we'll lie awake at night or worry constantly about it. How many have been afraid when our children go out by themselves? Well we should pray to God to take care of our child, believe that he will, and trust him to keep his word. Yes things do happen and people do lose their children but we must not be anxious, uneasy or worried for something that may never happen.

When fear takes over it may hinder us in being steadfast in our own responsibilities. We may not be able to sleep and then we are sick afterwards and can't do things we are responsible for. Fear can also open the gateway to cause sin to enter. When we are afraid or distraught from the fear we are more likely to be impatient or harsh with someone. Some people may have to lie to others to justify their fear. We may be drawn through fear of what others may think to a point where we engage in arguments. Fear can cripple us emotionally if we don't put the situation into God's hand and trust him to take care of it and us put our fear away.

Look at what Fear caused Peter to do. When Jesus was arrested Peter was afraid of what may happen to him if the people knew he was with Jesus before and was one of his apostles. Peter denied the Lord Jesus. Matthew 26:69-70. We can all understand Peters fear but he denied the Lord and that was a sinful act. We must remind ourselves that God was and still is sovereign over every circumstance. God will give you the grace to make it through any trial if you just give it over to him, believe his word where he said he will handle it for us and trust him to keep his word. Read Proverbs 29:25 Hebrews 13:6 and 1 Peter 3:6 Worrying about tomorrow is wrong because we don't know what tomorrow holds. We should just deal with today and ask for God's grace to manage.

We all know that we shouldn't fear but should run to God in prayer about things and give it unto him to solve and not worry about it. See: Philippians 4:6,7 If we put what we fear into his hands then we can have peace. Here are some scriptures that may help you find solutions to fear.
Galatians 2:12 "For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles; but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision"

We shouldn't be a man pleaser but work to please God. It is more important what God thinks of you than what people think of you. In the scripture above Peter was being a pleaser of men, he feared what they would think of him. His desire to please men placed him in the position of having to fear he would be found out. We should seek God's approval not mans.

Psalm 119:52,114,143,165 (Due to length I won't type these scriptures out but please go read). From this I found great peace from God if I will memorize and meditate on God's promises that apply to me. These promises are tried and true. The promises that apply to our own lives will fortify us. If we can memorize a specific scripture that applies to a situation we are experiencing and recite it when we feel fear, it will help us to respond with wisdom and according to scripture.
Proverbs 3:21-26 (Again due to length I won't type these scriptures out but please go read). From this I realized that if our decisions are wise ones and based on scripture then we will rest more peacefully and our fears and worries will be less. Not making wise and biblical decisions can actually cause us to allow snares for ourselves to be set up. Wisdom is the ability to relate truth (God's word) to life situations. If we use wisdom we will know how to cope with fears we may have. The scripture above in Proverbs even shows us that in extreme circumstances when we are being attacked by wickedness, fear will not overcome us if we use wisdom and depend on his word to guide us.

II Timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear but of power, and of love and of a sound mind". Boy does this speak to us. Reminding ourselves of God's power and his love for us and all mankind should be of great comfort to us when we have fear. When we are going through something that frightens us we tend to get carried away and may be fearful of what we THINK about the circumstances and not fearful of the actual true circumstance. We may have added things in there that aren't true or haven't happened. Then our focus becomes inward and we become more frightened. We worry about what is going to happen to us when we should pray for the factual circumstance we are facing at that moment and put what MAY happen into God's hands. We shouldn't fear sickness or death. Read Matthew 10:28 and Proverbs 1:7
Psalm 23:4 "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

I had a man ask me once what thought crossed my mind when I read that scripture. I said "Am I going to die?" LOL. He said that it meant I shouldn't be afraid of death. I should be at peace with God and know that he will take care of me. My time will come when it comes and I shouldn't be wasting time I could be living by worrying about death. We should remind ourselves and trust that God is always with us. Remember that no matter what happens that God will walk through it with us.

Psalm 56:4 "In God I will praise his words, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me." This is a big one. We have the choice to decide who we are going to trust to keep us safe and secure. We shouldn't put our trust in things other than God. Many people put their trust in a gun they keep hidden in their house. We should praise God and trust him to keep his word. Don't trust in ourselves or people in the world, trust in God. We can trust God to help us and we can trust him to keep his word.

See Matthew 24:35
Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears."
Seek out the Lord when you are afraid. Talk to the Lord when you are afraid and he will talk back to you through His Word. God will deliver us from every sinful fear, however great or small. Instead of turning to some other form of escape when we are afraid we should turn to God.

See Hebrews 4:12 and I Corinthians 10:13
1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that fearesth is not made perfect in love."

Overcome our fears with Love. One key to overcoming fear is to put on biblical love for God and for others. We show love to God by obeying his Word. When we think about ourselves our fear usually escalates. Remember when I mentioned above how we sometimes think that something horrible is going to happen. This can make us become completely panicked over absolutely nothing. Same thing with having an illness. We fear the unknown and the fact that it is unknown means we are worrying about absolutely nothing. What we are worried about may never happen. When we overcome the fear with Love it causes us to look for opportunities to give and often gets our mind off of the fears. See I Corinthians 13:6

Now of course we all have legitimate concerns about our health and even life in general. There are two ways to respond to such legitimate concerns. One is to focus on the present day and what God considers our responsibility regarding the concern. The other is to focus on the future, jump to a rash conclusion, usually the worse possible conclusion and then panic. God can't give us grace to respond biblically to a focus of the future that isn't real. See Matthew 6:34 and Philippians 4:8. We should focus on today and what our responsibilities are for today. Regarding our concerns about our health, we know we must take our medications, perhaps go to the doctor, care for our health needs and pray for God's guidance. We can add our name to prayer chains. God will give us grace to focus on today and what we must do today. My favorite scripture to help me with this issue is Philippians 4:6-9

We should put out un-biblical thoughts and put on biblical thoughts. The biblical thoughts will overcome fear. If we think that something is frightening and it is a true fear we just have to commit ourselves to do the right thing. Our responsibility is to do what is right and God will at that time give us grace and wisdom to respond. If something comes up and we don't know how to respond there is nothing wrong with telling them we need to think and get back with them later. Then seek God's word. When we are afraid of something remember your favorite scripture and recite it to yourself in your mind or even aloud to overcome the fear. Be careful not to respond to something in an unbiblical way. Fear will cause us to do that if we allow it.
Don't be anxious or fearful. Pray a biblical prayer of supplication with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6). Pray right away, don't wait because the fear will grow if you don't act immediately. When you are having fearful thoughts be sure that they are biblical. Philippians 4:8 is a good guide to check. If you persist in this you will experience the "peace of God which passeth all understanding" (Philippians 4:7) and the "God of peace shall be with you" (Philippians 4:9).

Experience Joy

2006-01-27T09:47:00.000-05:00

What is Joy? Well we may think joy is something gushy and extreme that we plant on our face to express to others. Perhaps a sportsman thinks that they feel joy when they hit that homerun, make that touchdown, claim victory for a winning game. Is that true Joy? True joy is a deep inner emotion, a peaceful hope, a solid faith, an abiding knowledge that life is good no matter what. How do you get that true inner joy? Through learning to love yourself and like the person you've become and making the best out of the life you have to live. I have recently met a lady who I can tell has true joy. How can I tell? She is going through a lot of difficult turmoil and copes daily with a lot of trials and tribulations but through it all I can see that she truly has inner joy and loves her life. It is so obvious when you look into her eyes that she truly is experiencing joy. We see people of the world who appear to possess joy in their lives. We see their lives as prosperous and carefree. How soon that appearance of joy and prosperity disappears when trouble enters their life. We all need to learn to enjoy the life we live and the fact that we still have a life to live. When all is said and done that is truly all we have.... Our Life. So why do we worry and stress over the rest?

Is the Iraq war worth all this?

2006-01-27T09:05:00.000-05:00

How To Be A Kid Again: "I just had a conversation with one of my good friends. He is in Iraq for twelve months. He told me bomb exploded seconds after he ran over it in a vehicle. He said he was fine. In that trained mechanical voice he has learned to adopt. But he isnt fine. It was easy to see my happy, sometimes silly friend was burdened. Heres why: One of the men under him got married before he deployed. Last week he got divorce papers from his new bride. Last week he also blew his brains out. My friend was the first to find him. As he described what he saw, the tears wouldn't stop coming down my face. As unemotionally as possible, he reminded me that this is life in the Army. This is the kind of thing he should be prepared for. Only he wasn't prepared. Who could be?"

My rant: Has it been proven to you that there was reason enough to go into war in Iraq and subject our soldiers to this sort of heart ache and demise? I'm sure this is just one of many similar stories that show people equally in pain. It makes my blood boil to think that our President took our men and women in uniform into this mess as he falsely made his case to the people. I wonder how he feels when he reads or hears these sort of stories or are these the sort of stories he just skims right past. My own heart aches over reading this.

Oprah Fries Frey

2006-01-26T13:55:00.000-05:00

Finally in a show that airs today Oprah Winfrey decides to turn her attitude of tolerance for James Frey, author of "A Million Little Pieces" to now admitting that he had misrepresented this as a memoir when honestly it is more fiction. I have read the book, I'm an avid reader and therefore could not pass it up. I did find it a captivating book to spite the controversy. Of course I knew that many things in the book are fiction by the time I read it. Oprah Winfrey chose this book in September last year for her book club. She also spoke of how this book kept her up at night reading it. Her selection of this book all but assured it to reach best seller status and it did, being the most successful selling book in the clubs history.

Oprah initially defended the Author in a call to CNN's Larry King. You can click here to read more on her comments during the broadcast. I'm sure she was very humiliated that she launched a book into the best sellers list and an author into celebrity status not to mention into a fortune and then had to admit that many facts in this book are pure fiction. I find it a bit upsetting that only after she encountered the bad press and letters from viewers showing discontent in the defense she took for Mr. Frey did she decide to retract and then vehemently attack him on her show. Sort of like she was going to defend her selection if she could get away with it but when she couldn't then she retracted. In all fairness to Oprah I must say that in her show she has apologized and admitted that she was wrong and feels duped.

Deficit or Surplus?

2006-01-26T13:06:00.000-05:00

The Stakeholder : "According to the CBO report, the expiration of the Bush tax cuts would return the budget to a surplus of $38 billion by 2012. Keeping the tax cuts in place would put the government into a $289 billion deficit. "

Let's Talk: Jack Abramoff

2006-01-26T10:13:00.000-05:00

Ok, I don't know about you all but I'm very confused. In one article George W Bush is quoted as saying "I can't recall meeting Mr. Abramoff" and then I read another article stating that they have uncovered six photographs of Abramoff and The President together. It has been reported that Mr Abramoff attended Hannukah celebration and other events at the White House. I don't know about you but there are very few people that I've had my picture taken with six times unless they were fairly close to me and I'd certainly remember them. Let's be realistic here in our thinking.... sure this is the President we are talking about and he takes pictures on a daily basis with people on a whim but lets also be honest here, he certainly would have kept abreast of Mr Abramoff considering his popularity in the political realm and if we believe he can't remember meeting him... ever.... then we need our head examined. Something smells like a fib here and I think its coming from the administration.

What do you have to say on this topic?

Tell Senators How you feel

2006-01-26T10:04:00.000-05:00

If you disagree with how the Senate has handled the Alito hearings then tell them. Let them know that they will be held accountable by the American people for decisions they make as an elected official.

The Democratic Daily Blog: " There's a Senate Phone List, with numbers to all the Democratic Senators and the key moderate Republicans. There are also two toll free numbers - 888-355-3588 or 888-818-6641 or you can fax your Senators."

Let's Talk: Natalee Holloway

2006-01-26T09:22:00.000-05:00

Note: I'm going to begin a few posts a week with the heading "Let's talk" in the hopes to get readers opinions on the chosen topic. I love debate so bring it on LOL.

Natalee Holloway. I'm sure I don't need to explain much in the way of an introduction on the topic since the media has been covering this in great detail. Natalee on a high school chaparoned trip to Aruba never showed up for the return flight. There have been times I've been exhausted from hearing this on the news every day and even thought of all the other stories of missing teens that aren't getting the same coverage. Then I once again become captivated with the story and want to know every new detail. I'm very much a news junkie so this falls right into my alley so to speak.

From what we've seen presented so far it appears that Joran Vandersloot and the Kalpoe brothers are the ones with the most means to cause harm to her. Recently it was reported that a Fisherman claims his Fishing hut was broken into and a fish trap along with a knife was missing and it was there earlier in the day that Natalee went missing and wasn't there the next day. This of course leading police to suspect that Natalee could have been disposed of in that trap and dropped into the deep of the water.

I just get the feeling that there is something here that is getting missed and that this missing piece of the puzzle may solve everything. In the early days I did feel that Paulie Vandersloot (Joran's father) was somehow implicated because of his actions. Then I guess it could be said that he was just protecting his son but in my opinion his actions went a little beyond that. I love my sons to pieces but if they were being investigated for something I wouldn't condone what they may have done by helping them to get away with it if they were guilty. I would open my home for inspection and do what I could to get to the bottom of it.

Your heart can't help but go out to Natalee's family and I can't fathom having a child missing and not knowing where she is or even if she is alive. Some have criticized Beth Holloway Twitty (Natalee's mother) for how she has pushed this case in the media. I can't do that because I know if it was my daughter I'd do anything I could, talk to anybody that would listen and use any tools available to keep my child's story in the public's eye in the hopes to find them. I think anyone else would too.

I'd love to read opinions on this topic from those who visit this blog. What do you think happened to Natalee? What do you think about the media coverage? What would you like to say on this topic?

Judge Alito's Confirmation: Sign the petition

2006-01-24T10:08:00.000-05:00

The Democratic Daily Blog: "John Kerry just sent out an email with a petition against Alito. Kerry plans to enter all of the names on the petition into the Congressional Record when he goes to the Senate floor to speak out against Judge Alito. Kerry says, I'll show my Senate colleagues that as far as the American people are concerned, this is not some inside the beltway conversation; this is a landmark struggle for the future of our nation.

Here's the email Sign the Petition!

I've studied Judge Alito's legal record. I met with him one-on-one. After all this, I am left with one simple conclusion: if Judge Alito becomes Supreme Court Justice Alito, he will move the Court backwards.

I will vote against Judge Alito's confirmation, and I hope a majority of Senators choose to join us on the Senate floor, voting and speaking out against him. I know we face tough odds, but this is an important fight.

The bottom line is Judge Alito cannot be trusted on the Supreme Court. We can't trust him to stand up to government abuse of power. We can't trust him to ensure all citizens enjoy equal protection under the law. We can't trust him to protect our right to privacy. We can't trust him to defend mainstream American values.

To muster enough Senators to defeat Judge Alito, the American people have to make it clear that they are against his nomination. That's where you come in. By speaking out, you will help us convince other Senators to join our fight."

nbc13.com - Food News - Woman Convicted For Throwing Lettuce On Ground

2006-01-24T09:19:00.000-05:00

nbc13.com - Food News - Woman Convicted For Throwing Lettuce On Ground: "Woman Convicted For Throwing Lettuce On Ground"

My Rant:
Now officers I know the big criminals are scary fellows and it makes your life easier to go after the lettuce offenders but that doesn't keep them big bully criminals off our streets and out of the reach to harm those good people in society.

The Articles of Bush

2006-01-24T08:43:00.000-05:00

Below are a few articles I've located regarding our President and I thought you'd all may like to read them.

Letter to George W. Bush
A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTIONBy Liane Ellison Norman
Dear Mr. Bush,
I’m not sure you understand some important things about your job.
Read entire article

The Impeachment of George W. BushAxis of Logic - Boston,MA,USA... People have begun to speak of impeaching President George W. Bush--not in hushed whispers but openly, in newspapers, on the Internet, in ordinary conversations ...
Read entire article

George W. Bush's Father Complex
There are many troubling facts about the Iraq war, the worst being that it was unnecessary and sold to the American people through lies and deception – an unforgivable breech of faith by the president of the United States with the American people. Also troubling is that the reasons for the war are still unclear. Historians will struggle with this for years, probably inconclusively. But if there’s a pathway into Bush’s small and troubled brain that might explain his obsession with Iraq and his subsequent invasion, I’m convinced it lies in an understanding of the relationship of the younger Bush with his father, who also faced down Saddam Hussein, although under very different circumstances.
Read entire article

Morphing Bush into mahogany
Fred Barnes of Fox News is perhaps the most talented and savvy. His arguments are often the clearest, and he is a formidable opponent even on those occasions when his talking points are obviously beaten. In his new book, Rebel in Chief: Inside the Bold and Controversial Presidency of George W. Bush, Barnes puts forth a thesis which would occur to few Americans. He regards our current President as a maverick who stands outside and above the establishment, and one who, in the spirit of the Starship Enterprise, has boldly gone where no scion of an incredibly fashionable family has gone before.
Read entire article

The George W. Bush Guide to Secret GovernmentCounterBias.com - USAYou know, I get the impression that George W. Bush really doesn't understand the concept of checks and balances as it relates to government. ...
Read entire article

The imaginary leadership of George W. BushThe Moderate Voice - USAby Michael Stickings. I've written a fairly provocative post on the "imaginary leadership" of George W. Bush
Read entire article

George W. Bush: The case for impeachment

2006-01-24T08:40:00.000-05:00

George W. Bush: The case for impeachment
By: Robert Zaller
'I thought Bill Clinton was the worst president I\'d seen in office until George W. Bush came along. I was appalled when Clinton muffed the best opportunity in sixty years to reform our health care system by handing the job to his wife and even more amazed at the stupidity of providing himself no political distance from the inevitable debacle. I was disgusted with his betrayal of the working and nonworking poor by the passage of NAFTA and so-called welfare reform and at his extension of the death penalty and his weakening of habeas corpus rights for the condemned. I thought his bombing campaign against Serbia was a war crime. I believed he deserved impeachment, not for his sexual behavior, but for abusing the trust of his office in lying about it for eight months. In retrospect, it would have been an immense boon for the country had he been removed by the Senate. Then Al Gore would have become president with two years to establish a record of his own, and we might well have been spared the nightmare of the present administration.If Clinton deserved impeaching, Bush needs it... Why, then, does Bush require impeachment? I offer the following four articles for the consideration of the Congress...." The triangle online: Click here to read the entire article

I'm back.... Did ya miss me? hahaha

2006-01-24T08:33:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. Well I had to recover from a recent surgery so it forced me to stay off the computer. Can you imagine that? It must have been something pretty serious huh.... to keep me from my computer. You all know how much I like to run my mouth LOL. All jokes aside the surgery itself wasn't so serious but the reason for it may play out that way. They found a lump in my left breast and did a needle biopsy which came back positive so I ended up having to have it removed and now am undergoing the process of reconstruction. I go back in a week and will find out then what further treatment is necessary. Hey it isn't so bad I always wanted a boob job but never had the guts to get it done. This isn't quite the way I had thought about it but hey why complain. When all is said and done they'll be perky and stay that way even when I'm ninety years old. LOL. Ok on with the show I've got blogging to do. Hugs to all and I hope you had fun while I was gone but now I'm back so the fun is over (giggle).

What is sacrificial love?

2006-01-09T18:48:00.000-05:00

Some parents feel that sacrificing is us doing without to give to our children. Well if that means you only have a little food and feed them before yourselves or only enough money to buy clothes for them, then perhaps. However in my view it is not sacrificial love to not set proper examples for your children. What do I mean by this. Well consider the following.

Do you let your children demand expensive things that you cannot afford? Do you then work two jobs or many overtime hours to give them what they want rather then teach them the responsibility of money. Do you feel they have to have those expensive jeans, the fiery red sports car? Do you think you are a terrible parent if they want these things but you can't provide?

Do you consider it sacrificial love because you wear old clothes, shop in discount or thrift stores for your own clothing and drive a junk car just so you can give your children the best? Do you have family arguments because of finances because you think your child has to go to the best schools, wear the best clothes, drive the best cars, and have the best of everything? Do you honestly believe that this is helping your children and giving them the proper structure for life? Or is it instilling selfishness into their hearts.

Sacrificial love really means to guide them to become a well balanced adult and to teach them respect and patience. Teach them that life isn't going to be handed to them, they must be responsible and build a life of their own. This is the only way that your children will have the tools necessary to be a true success in life and a true selfless parent to their own children. We must be selfless in our love to our children so they then will be selfless in their love for their children. Love is not based on material things you can give a child but in the care you give to them, the wisdom you instill in their lives and the righteousness you guide them to.

It is hard to not want to give your children the best but give them the best by giving them the tools it takes to grow up into a decent adult who knows how to stand on their own two feet and make a successful life of their own. That is the first step to their happiness. Give them the true values that will sustain them in life. Protect them from the world and guide them toward being a righteous person and you then will be giving them all the riches of a happy life where they are proud of who they are.

Like most parents we fear for our child's future, their life and their safety but we must teach them while they are under our care to be good, honest, selfless and faithful and give them a sense of ambition to become the best they can be. Then when we have done all we can to protect them we must push them gently into the waters of life. They will swim if we have given them the tools necessary.

News Tidbits

2006-01-09T17:20:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd post a few news excerpts that interested me along with links to read the full article. I hope some of the readers here will enjoy them. I'd love to hear from all of you on your reaction to the articles.

"Prove Christ exists, judge orders
AN ITALIAN judge has ordered a priest to appear in court this month to prove that Jesus Christ existed..." Times Online.
Read entire article
Related Links:
Italian court to decide if teaching Jesus breaks law

Dianne Feinstein’s Opening Statement at the Alito Nomination Hearing
The following is the opening statement from Senator Dianne Feinstein at today’s Alito nomination hearings: The Democratic Daily. Read entire article

"In today’s emailed remarks to the WH Press Pool Bush is quoted as saying:
“Sam Alito is imminently qualified to be a member of the bench. I'm not the only person who feels that way.” You know, as in he’s about to become qualified..." Wonkette.
Read Entire article

Related Links:
Schumer warns of filibuster of Alito Washington Times
Fireworks on Alito Alternet
The Imperial President's hit man Alternet

"Texas Court Won't Dismiss DeLay Charges
By LIZ AUSTIN, Associated Press Writer Mon Jan 9, 12:43 PM ET
AUSTIN, Texas - The state's highest criminal court on Monday denied Rep. Tom DeLay's request that the money laundering charges against him be dismissed or sent back to a lower court for an immediate trial." Read entire article
My comment: I find this amazing considering that the nine members of the court which made this decision are all republican!

"Americans more critical of Congress than own representatives
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A majority of Americans consider the congressional influence-peddling inquiry surrounding former lobbyist Jack Abramoff a major scandal, and they registered an anti-incumbent note in a poll released Monday..." Read entire article

"Miner improving; doctors encouraged
Still 'too early to know' extent of recovery, doctor says" CNN
Read entire article
Related Links
Loved ones say goodbye in W. Va. New York Daily News

"Wanting a piece of Bill O'Reilly
Letterman, Olbermann challenge 'Factor' host
NEW YORK (AP) -- If Bill O'Reilly truly loves a good fight, then he's had quite a week.
The Fox News Channel personality's confrontation with David Letterman Tuesday night made for some gripping television. The cranky "Late Show" host told his guest: "I have the feeling about 60 percent of what you say is crap." CNN
Read entire article

Yates Pleads Not Guilty, Gets New Trial Date
Andrea Yates pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity in the drowning deaths of her children Monday as she made her first court appearance since her 2002 capital murder convictions were overturned. Foxnews Read entire article
Related Links:
Russell Yates Finalizes Divorce
Yates' Lawyers Won't Seek Her Release
Andrea Yates' Conviction Overturned
Psychiatrist Under Fire in Yates Case
Court Hears Appeal by Andrea Yates
Andrea Yates' Husband Files for Divorce
Andrea Yates Appeals Convictions

Cough syrup left out in the cold
By Rita Rubin, USA TODAY
If your biggest decision about how to treat a cough is whether to take cherry- or grape-flavored syrup, you might find the following a little hard to swallow: The American College of Chest Physicians is advising cold sufferers not to waste their money on over-the-counter cough syrups or drops, either for themselves or for their children. Read entire article.

Mooning Deemed 'Disgusting' but No Crime in Md.

2006-01-05T10:00:00.000-05:00

Mooning Deemed 'Disgusting' but No Crime in Md.: "Mooning Deemed 'Disgusting' but No Crime in Md.
By Ernesto Londoo
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, January 4, 2006; Page B01
Acquitting a Germantown man who exposed his buttocks during an argument with a neighbor, a Montgomery County Circuit Court judge ruled yesterday that mooning, while distasteful, is not illegal in Maryland."

Ok, my first thought is.... Doesn't the Post have anything better to report on? I mean isn't there more pressing news? Ok now since that is out of the way.... the judge does make some good points in his decision. I lived in Maryland for 12 years so I may have to return now that I know this so I can bareeeeeeeeeeeee well never mind LOL.

Seeing Over The Horizon

2006-01-03T19:14:00.000-05:00

It feels wonderful when the rough times begin to fade and the new wonderful days arrive. You begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that soon tomorrow will be here and it will be far better than today. There are times when you are going through the darkest days that you aren't able to see down the road to when things will improve. It is those dark days that drag you down. When the day arrives that you finally see the light breaking through the dark clouds, it is then that your spirit begins to feel alive again.

Sometimes the situation improves and allows the light to come in but often times it is my attitude about the situation that truly gives way to the darkness and brings in the shining light which guides me to a more positive approach to the initial situation. It is at that moment that I realize that I've been in the wrong frame of mind, in a place that wouldn't allow the light in. I chose to stay there far too long. Thankfully I found my way out.

How do you find your way out from the darkness and how do you begin to move toward the light?

I think each person has to find their own solution to this problem. For me, it is easier at times then it is at other times. For me, I often have to come to the decision to accept whatever the situation is and know that I'll get through it. I have to put aside worries and that allows me to relax and accept the situation and not be so stressed over it. I have also found that I tend to get frustrated during tough times and this wears me down more than anything else. Frustration really tugs at my thoughts and makes me feel as though my life is totally out of my control. This just compounds the stress of the situation and in the end increases the overall problem.

So I work to find some humor in each and every day. This will at least keep my head above water during a difficult time. Then little by little I begin to face the situation head on and deal with the things that are most troublesome to me. From there I begin to adjust my thinking and readapt my emotions. Little by little I'm able to begin to put many issues aside and focus more on the future. This isn't something you can do overnight but it is something that can be accomplished.

Death?????? UGHHHHHHHHHHH

2005-12-31T08:45:00.000-05:00

There has been some discussion recently on a list I moderate about fearing death. I don't give death a lot of thought really. I have the mindset that I'm going to live a long time. I'm not sure if that is realistic or not but that is how my mind works. So dying is not a thought that is on my mind often. However, that isn't to say that I've not thought about it and even worried about it. I have. I have thought about my family and how they would adjust more than anything I guess. I do think sometimes when looking at my grandchild and wonder if I'll live to see them grow up but I try not to dwell on those sort of thoughts because I can't change what is to happen. I have to just live for today. If I worry about dying I'll probably forget to live.

Finding your inner self

2005-12-28T20:35:00.000-05:00

Someone asked me today "how do you find your inner self?" This is a question that I can't really answer for someone else because the road I traveled to find my inner self may be a totally different route then someone else must take. In many ways the route I traveled was guided by religion or at least theologian study. I've always had a very keen interest in the different world religions. I like to research them and learn the culture that those who practice those religions live.

Over the years many of my studies have allowed me the opportunity to come across quotes, articles, etc that have helped me to enter deep introspective thought. I have spent many long hours working through my own personal feelings, personal interests and my thoughts on issues important to me as well as topics that have an effect on my daily life. So for me it has been a very personal analytical journey.

I also work very hard to take the time to dwell on my feelings and give them fair and honest consideration. I don't feel it is healthy for me to push what I feel aside. When I am faced with a difficult situation I try to give attention to how I'm coping emotionally. Little by little I just came to know who I really am, how I really think and most of all what I really feel. I think each person has to find something in their life that they enjoy and use that as a tool to delve into their personal thoughts. By doing this we get to know ourselves and most of all we begin to like ourselves and soon are more in tune with who we are.

Birds of a feather...

2005-12-26T19:27:00.000-05:00

Hey wait a minute... Just a cottin pickin minute. Didn't a recent President get impeached for a similar act? How come Bush is getting away with it? LOL

-- Crabbiness

2005 comes to a close

2005-12-26T15:41:00.000-05:00

As 2005 comes to a close I look back over the last year and although there have been many tough days there also were many days filled with joy and happiness. A lot of water has crossed the bridge so to speak but I'm happy to say that I've not drowned (giggle). When I look back in hindsight it is so easy to see all the things I've went through and it seems so right to say to myself "How did I get through that?" but I did get through it. That fact gives me the will to look forward to the new year and to know that no matter what I'm forced to face I can get thorough it and at the end of 2006 I'll be stronger and a better person because of it. I'll learn something from each experience, I'll gain something from all the adventures and most of all I'm sure to meet many new people and enjoy many wonderful times with all my friends and family. Just like this year, at the end of next year (2006) I'm sure that all the good that I've been blessed to enjoy will by far outweigh the bad. So I'm looking forward to the coming year. I hope every person has a wonderful new year.

What are some of the trendy fads you remember about clothes while you were growing up?

2005-12-26T15:34:00.000-05:00

I'd love to read from others the fads they remember from their youth. Hey you may remind me of some I've forgot. When I was a young teen, girls wore a lot of halter tops which were basically a triangle shaped scarf that you tied around your neck and under your breasts. You then wore hip hugger jeans leaving your mid section bare. I also remember a friend and me cutting out triangle sections from the sides of the bottoms of our jeans and then adding strips of material in there to make flared bell bottom pants. These hip hugger jeans are coming back in style I see.

Christmas Day 2005

2005-12-24T22:06:00.000-05:00

Christmas Day 2005 will be a very special day. It will be filled with quality time with my family and that makes it more special than anything ever could. Good company and good food. I must admit however that I will be so so so glad that it is over with. I am so tired and I'll need the next couple days just to recuperate.

Now I have to begin thinking forward into the new year. There are always challenges to face in each year of our life and sometimes those challenges are bigger hurdles to jump over than we ever thought we'd have to face. However when I reach a situation that seems impossible to get through I just think back over the years and think about other times that seemed so hard to get through but I did make it through those and I know I can make it through any that I come across in the future.

At the time when we are faced with a difficult situation it is hard for us to look down the road and have faith that we'll get through it. But, when we begin to look back over our life we realize that we've crossed difficult roads before and came through them. This way of redirecting my thoughts truly is helpful to me and assists me in not feeling so overwhelmed by current situations.

My New Years Resolution

2005-12-24T22:00:00.000-05:00

My New Years Resolution. In the year 2006 I want to focus more on my health. I need to focus on my health from all angles. I need to lose some weight but I also need to pay attention to my body more and listen to what it is telling me. When it is screaming for rest I must stop pushing myself to keep going and listen to my body and rest.

Many of my bad days are my own fault simply because I don't listen to my body on the days prior. I push, push and push until finally my body says "I can't take no more" and forces me to bed or forces me to spend a day on the couch. I have to stop that and in the coming year that is going to be one of my main goals.

I also want to focus more on my health by trying to do exercises that I'm capable of doing. If I can just spend a few minutes a couple days of the week doing some sort of exercises than surely it is better than doing nothing at all.

I'm also going to focus more on eating healthier. I'm a junk food junkie by choice and that has to change. I love salads and seafood and those if made properly can be very healthy food choices. So I'm going to try and eat a more balanced and healthier diet.

I'm also never going to eat beef again. Well, you should never say never because we can change our mind in the future. But, as I feel right now I don't think I will ever eat beef again. The recent fear here in the U.S. over the Mad Cow Disease really isn't the cause for my change of mind about beef. I think the risk of a human contracting this disease is slim. My reason for the change of heart is due to my watching the film clips on the news which showed these animals with this disease as well as some of the conditions they are kept in. Something just clicked in me and I don't think I could ever eat beef again. I may get over this but as for right now beef is off my diet.

I rarely ate red meat anyway but occasional did get a craving for it and would eat it in spite of the trouble it caused to my tummy. Red meat cramps me terribly and I actually can't eat a large amount of chicken breast either. I am able to tolerate small amounts of chicken pretty well but I can't really tolerate red meat at all. So my new found revolt against eating beef is really good for me.

Share Your Special Day With Us

2005-12-24T21:45:00.000-05:00

I'd love to hear from everyone about your holiday. I adore reading from everyone about how they spent the holiday, what they got as gifts and such. We got together this evening for a holiday dinner with family and then tomorrow we are having a nice Christmas day breakfast and opening our gifts here before going to a church service with family at 11am and then will be having dinner later in the afternoon at a family member's home. I look forward to hearing from everyone.

Peace with a Loss over the Holiday

2005-12-22T21:49:00.000-05:00

I was thinking a lot today about families who've lost loved ones this past year. It is very tough to get through the first major holiday without your loved one. My brother who died in 98 was a mortician and I remember that their funeral home had a policy that they didn't put holiday greetings out in the public areas because it didn't seem proper to make such happy greetings to families which were grieving. With this thought, I realize that it is hard to know how to react to friends during these times when they've lost someone close. We want to wish them a happy holiday season but by the same token, we know that just the fact that it is the holiday season makes their loss all the more painful. I know that most people try to get through the holidays as best they can, especially if they have small children but my heart really aches for them. It must even be worse when there is a loss right before Christmas. My father suddenly died on December 2nd. That was so hard on the family. My heart goes out to those who are grieving over a loss and I hope that the holiday season somehow can bring them peace.

Only A Few More Days...

2005-12-22T21:47:00.000-05:00

Only a few days before the arrival of Santa. As an adult some of the excitement of Christmas had worn off but with grandchildren now adorning our lives we are beginning to see a lot of that excitement return. It is so wonderful to be able to witness a visit from Santa through the eyes of such little sweet angels. My granddaughter is such a bubbly child with so much energy and excitement so we know that when she arrives she'll be overjoyed with anticipation of the whole holiday affair. Just to be blessed with the opportunity to watch the joy in their eyes is the best gift ever.

Bill O'Reilly... No Spin Zone? Yea Right!

2005-12-15T16:20:00.000-05:00

I admit to watching Bill O'Reilly on Fox news often and even finding his show entertaining. However, for him to claim that no spin goes on during his show or that it is fair and balanced is almost laughable. He spins issues so far right that if it spinned any further it would fly right through the television into our living rooms. As for fairness and balance... well if you call talking over your guest and shouting them down with your own opinions fair and balance... well ok LOL. Don't get me wrong, I agree that there are shows which favor both sides of the political spectrum. I just wish they'd be honest and present themselves exactly for what they are.

Haloscan Installed... OOps on previous comments

2005-12-14T21:57:00.000-05:00

Hmmmm I installed Haloscan moments ago for my commenting option to this blog and I do like it but just noticed that it didn't incorporate any comments made to any of my posts prior to the installation. It wiped comments clean. Sooooooooo that means if you commented on any posts here then you'll need to go do it again. WOW it didn't tell me that in the info pages lol.

Those Left Behind - Patriotism

2005-12-14T16:41:00.000-05:00

A small child joins her parents and other siblings to a bus station where they are saying goodbye to her brother who had joined the Army. This little girl looked up to her older brother and loved him so much. She didn't understand anything more than that he was going on a trip that the President said he had to go on. The bus pulled up and it was time for him to leave when he picked up the little girl in his arms and said to her... "Don't cry... give me a hug but save the kiss for when I get back because I'm going to need it." She reached out to her lips as if she was capturing a kiss and then pretended to tuck it in her pocket and said "I'll keep it just for you." Time passed as the brother was gone and the little girl listened intently as her mother read his letters to the family where he always said to tell his little sister hello and not to give that kiss to anybody as he was looking forward to getting it from her when he came home. She always giggled and went on her merry way playing as a young child would.

One day as she was playing with her barbie dolls in the front living room a knock came to the screen door and she looked up to see men in suits and they asked through the screen if her mom or dad was home. She yelled for her mother who was in the Kitchen making dinner and her brother came from the hallway and immediately at the mere site of these men they began to weep. The little girl didn't understand and was quickly whisked away by another sibling to a nearby bedroom. Later she was told that her brother had been killed in Vietnam. She didn't understand why he wouldn't be coming home.

At the funeral home during the wake the little girl is escorted into the room by two other brothers. She holds on tightly to their hands as she had never seen anything like this and then she looks ahead and notices the coffin holding the body of her brother who she so adored. At the time she didn't know why but the upper half of the coffin was open but there was a bubble of plexiglass limiting access to the body. She looked so seriously up to her brothers as she gripped their hand and quietly said... "How am I going to give him his kiss with that glass there?" The brothers burst into tears...

This little girl was me. My brother at the age of 19 joined the Army even though if he'd honestly told the people doing the physical about his asthma attacks he'd been excused from duty. My mother did everything to talk him into this but he said no that he was going to go and was not going to be one of those to get out of his duty to this country. A few short months later when two infantry units came across a mine field the commanders of each had a map which was supposed to guide them to safety on the other side but the maps had several differences so they asked for a volunteer from each unit to use their map to cross. My brother volunteered but didn't make it to safety. His death however allowed for the safe crossing of the remainder of both units.

My brother didn't get to ever get my kiss but far worse he never got to live the life he deserved. He never got to marry and for all I know never even enjoyed sex with someone he cherished. He has missed so much and I have missed him more than I could ever express. So for anyone to call into question my patriotism when I have serious problems with this administration's policies or the war in Iraq should be ashamed of themselves. I have the right to question the government of this land............... My brother died to give me that right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Old Testament Discoveries

2005-12-13T16:41:00.000-05:00

For many years it has been known that there are events noted in the Old Testament of the Bible that had not been mentioned in other historical recordings. The Old Testament stood alone as the evidence that those events truly took place. In many cases the records of these events were criticized by some of our well known skeptics of the scripture. Publicly they stated how untrue the scripture must be to be the only place such an event was recorded. Now there have been archeological discoveries in recent years that have proven just how correct the writings of the Bible are.

We'll begin with the discussion of a man named Abraham. You remember him, don't you. He also was known as "Abram". In the book of Genesis there is reference to him living in a city called "Ur". (Genesis 11:31) It is described as a "great city" which would leave you to reason that it was a large city where many lived. However, many top people who research such matters stated their disbelief that this city ever existed. There wasn't anything recorded regarding it. Recent diggings uncovered ancient ruins of the city. They found remains of temples, homes and tombs of the King and Queen.

Further in the book of Genesis (15:20)there is a mention of a nation called Hittite. There were no known recordings of its existence outside of the Bible. Now years later there have been discoveries of Ancient Egyptian and Assyria records that show that the Hittite nation did absolutely exist. The records even show that it stood as a strong nation for almost seven centuries.

An ancient city of Egypt called Pithom has been uncovered. The bottom of these storehouses contain brick with straw on the bottom and bricks without straw on the top portions. This coincides with descriptions of how the Israelites were forced to make bricks in Exodus 1:11; 5:7.

They have discovered a mummy. Believed to be that of Meneptah II who is widely believed to be the Pharaoh recorded in the book of Exodus. There is a hymn written about him which mentions Israel. There is also an inscription that tells of the death of his young son. This could be the son that died during the last plague mentioned in Exodus 12:29.

In the book of Daniel it is recorded that a great city called Babylon fell. This has been questioned over the years because in Daniel it states that Beshazzar was the last ruler of that city. (Daniel 5:30). There had been no mention ever found in Babylonian records about a ruler named Belshazzar. Well that was until the year 1853. There were discoveries of ancient inscriptions that the last known King who was Nabonidus had a first-born child named Belshazzar. It further stated that this was his "favorite son" and that they ruled together. One inscription read "He freed his hand, he entrusted the kingship to him. Then he himself undertook a distant campaign.." This also answers the question of why the Bible stated that Daniel was the "third ruler in the Kingdom". Nabonidus and Belshazzar were the first two.

The findings go on and on that have been discovered to prove the facts of the Bible. They have located the land of Goshen, the city of Nineveh. They have found evidence to verify Shishak's account of his campaign against King Rehoboam. I could go on and on.

McCain Catches Giuliani

2005-12-13T15:39:00.000-05:00

Bread and Circuses: "McCain Catches Giuliani

In the latest national poll, Sen. John McCain has caught up with former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani as the first choice of Republicans, with each garnering support among 25% of Republicans. Which is no real surprise, since Giuliani has spent the last several years cashing fat checks for giving speeches to corporate fat cats, while Senator McCain is trying to put an end to US government torture. One of them seems just a little more public service-oriented than the other. What’s perhaps more striking is that if Giuliani wisely elects not to run, McCain would be a big frontrunner, but in solid second place is...Newt Gingrich. Yes, you read that right. The disgraced former Speaker of the US House, who arranged to have President Clinton impeached for having sex with an intern while at the same time the Speaker was paying a woman he was having sex with (which would make her...?), is apparently regarded as a serious contender for the Republican nomination for President.

Republicans only believe in morality, apparently, when it comes to judging others' behavior."

Just me rambling

2005-12-06T20:46:00.000-05:00

We are as ready as we can be this year for Christmas. I still have a few things to do. I'm not doing a lot this year for a number of reasons, one being I'm just not up to the hoopla this year . My granddaughter will be old enough this year to really have a blast and to get excited over the whole Christmas experience so I'm sure we'll get a lot of joy.

We have a lot to be thankful for this year. Things aren't all hunky doorie or anything but it could be much worse. I'm blessed in my private life and I have a lot of wonderful friends so life can't get much better than that. Everything else that isn't perfect in my life will get all worked out in due time. I'm certain of that because things just have a way of coming together if you have patience and faith. Sometimes things don't work out the way we'd planned or the way we've even imagined but in the end when all is said and done, usually it all works out for the best.

Sometimes we don't recognize what is best when it is happening to us because we just can't fathom how it will better our lives by going through troubled times. It is really hard to look forward when the present is in such shambles or when we are presently going through such a terrible ordeal. We tend to focus on the here and now during those difficult days. I guess this is a natural thing to do. I try so hard though to remain calm, have faith and give things time to sort themselves out.

I had a friend ask me once when we were talking about this and I stated comments to her similarly to what I've written here. She asked me if I thought that things worked out in the end or did I just accept the end result and thus it seems to have worked out. Gosh, this was a toughie because I really don't know the answer. Looking back in hindsight (as you know that is always 20/20) I think she may have a point. As a situation evolves our perceptions change so therefore at the end of the situation we are seeing things through different eyes and just may be ready to accept the outcome whatever it is.

Grown up?

2005-12-06T20:40:00.000-05:00

When did you first realize you were grown up?
Write a story about what led up to that particular moment.

Gosh, I haven't had that revelation yet (giggle). I didn't know I was grown up, haha. Seriously though, I grew up quickly. I was forced to face life in a very adult world. I also got married young and soon had a son so I had to grow up at a very young age. So perhaps I felt that I was grown far before I really had matured to where I acted grown up. Well there are times I still don't act grown up. (grin). Oh there is nothing more fun then to let your hair down and act like a kid again.

Worst. President. Ever.

2005-12-06T20:30:00.000-05:00

But don't take my word for it. Richard Reeves checks in with the experts...

The History News Network at George Mason University has just polled historians informally on the Bush record. Four hundred and fifteen, about a third of those contacted, answered -- maybe they were all crazed liberals -- making the project as unofficial as it was interesting. These were the results: 338 said they believed Bush was failing, while 77 said he was succeeding. Fifty said they thought he was the worst president ever. Worse than Buchanan.

Read entire article at Upper Left

A sad anniversary

2005-12-02T18:52:00.000-05:00

Today is the 20th anniversary of the death of someone who meant everything to me. This person was my father. He taught me so much about life and made me feel so loved . Upon the passing of my father I felt as if my life would never be the same. It certainly hasn't. Just the absence of him from my life has changed who I am. On one hand it seems as if it has been forever since our eyes have met, since we've spoken, since we've hugged one another. On the other hand it seems like only yesterday when we last spoke, last hugged. On this day, I he knows somehow that I still remember him, I still miss him and I'll always love him. He made a difference in my life even though he was a part of it for a much shorter time than I would have preferred.

Why suffer in silence?

2005-12-02T18:45:00.000-05:00

A person can have all the support in the world. A loving spouse, caring family members as well as attentive friends. However, even with all this support there are times that we still feel that our life is such a struggle. We know that we are more blessed than many, simply because we have such a great support structure. But, that doesn't take away from our own inner personal struggle with what is going on in our life. Someone else's pain seems so much greater than ours and we think how lucky we are, but in our hearts, our own pain, our suffering, our situation seems like it is just too much to bear.

We feel so torn by what we are going through and yet we feel guilty by having what we think of as negative emotions. We somehow think that simply because we have support or our health isn't as bad as someone else's or perhaps because we don't struggle to pay for health care, etc that we don't have the right to feel like we do. While trying to force ourselves to feel as though we are so blessed we actually feel like our life is a piece of dirt, something we wish we could sweep into a garbage pail and be done with. We think that because others have it worse than we do that we shouldn't feel emotionally devastated.

Why is this? Why do we beat ourselves up this way and think that we must suffer in silence simply because our life hasn't been torn to shreds in the same way other peoples lives have been torn? Perhaps if others knew the struggles we've endured they'd too wonder how we cope. Why are there people in this world who think that they are not worthy of admitting they are struggling?

Perhaps we did it to ourselves by always putting up that strong facade, always appearing to be "okay" and always putting forth the attitude that we are coping just fine. Suddenly we just don't think we can break down that wall and admit that we aren't coping well, that we aren't ok and that we too cry, we too hurt, we too have had enough. It isn't that we feel this way every moment of every day but we do have our moments of anguish and yet we keep them to ourselves and go on as if everything is fine. I don't understand why?

I do realize that In part I am this way because I don't want people to think that I am trying to focus attention onto me. I don't want to feel as though people may think I'm saying "Woe is me". I am also very uncomfortable with sharing personal comments to do with certain emotions I experience. I want other people to feel comfortable and share their inner emotions with me and I'm eager to be there to listen and comfort them but when I try to do the same thing and share my emotions when they're not necessarily happy ones then I feel like I can't do that.

Another part of the reason I'm this way is because I'm too stubborn to admit that I'm human and am not always the all happy wappy, chipper gal. The positive attitude that I often talk about is very real and true. I really do feel that way most of the time but I hesitate to share that I also fall apart at times, I also have times of emotional struggle. Why? This I must work to understand about myself. This is something I must figure out so I can find my inner self and feel at ease with my true emotions.

Family who don't understand

2005-11-29T14:43:00.000-05:00

In my field of work I've dealt with those who suffer from chronic illnesses who find that when the chips are down they do not get the support needed from those they love most. When a person is experiencing a bought with a chronic illness they often begin to spiral down into a pit of hopelessness. They often even become depressed because they see their lives utterly without hope and they see no hope for a future that they can bear. In some situations the family doesn't help things. They may place demands on the person that they cannot keep up with and when the person asks for their help and receives a response that is clear to them that their family member would rather be having teeth pulled tells them only one thing.... they are alone.

When it comes to those who suffer from chronic illnesses and they see that their family members don't want to help them now and they know that they may get worse later they feel helpless with not knowing how they are going to manage later. This brings in the hopeless feeling and this quickly becomes a notion that their only option is to give up, chuck it in and die. Families should be uplifting these sick family members, not pulling them down. Encouraging them to do for themselves when they can and to keep their spirits high is one thing but the family never should let this evolve into them forcing the sick member of their family to go on with no help from them because it is their excuse to get out of helping. Often the response from loved ones is that the ill person can still do it for themselves without asking someone else to get up to do it. Oh yes this may be true but consider the additional pain they may be forced to endure to do that job when the healthy family member can just do it painlessly and without any ill effect.

I don't get it really. Don't the family members see that helping their loved one who is ill with such small gestures makes a huge difference in their life. It is a stuggle for these individuals to do what they do and they do it with love and devotion trying to carry on. However reality has forced them to a different height. I know that I personally would never wish for my spouse, sibling, etc to struggle to reach something or do a job that I could easily do for them with no pain whatsoever. I'd never want to see my loved one struggle through pain to do something just so I wouldn't have to lift a finger to help.

Then for these people suffering, the sadness rolls in and they don't understand how their family can treat them this way. They know that if the table was turned they certainly wouldn't do that to them. They feel so alone and as if they must get through what they are going through all by themselves. They wonder how they are going to manage. Don't these family members see how much they are needed? Most of all.... don't they see that their love, support and help is what will sustain their loved one who is ill and give them the will to fight for their life and survive?

Service in the Armed Forces

2005-11-21T22:17:00.000-05:00

With so much discussion about patriotism along with much criticism of how patriotic you really are I feel that this is worth sharing now more than ever.

Upper Left:

Service in the Armed Forces

Democrats:

* Richard Gephardt: Air National Guard, 1965-71.
* David Bonior: Staff Sgt., Air Force 1968-72.
* Tom Daschle: 1st Lt., Air Force SAC 1969-72.
* Al Gore: enlisted Aug. 1969; sent to Vietnam Jan. 1971 as an army journalist in
20th Engineer Brigade.
* Bob Kerrey: Lt. j.g. Navy 1966-69; Medal of Honor, Vietnam.
* Daniel Inouye: Army 1943-47; Medal of Honor, WWII.
* John Kerry: Lt., Navy 1966-70; Silver Star, Bronze Star with Combat V,Purple
Hearts.
* Charles Rangel: Staff Sgt., Army 1948-52; Bronze Star, Korea.
* Max Cleland: Captain, Army 1965-68; Silver Star & Bronze Star, Vietnam. Paraplegic from war injuries. Served in Congress.
* Ted Kennedy: Army, 1951-53.
* Tom Harkin: Lt., Navy, 1962-67; Naval Reserve, 1968-74.
* Jack Reed: Army Ranger, 1971-1979; Captain, Army Reserve 1979-91.
* Fritz Hollings: Army officer in WWII; Bronze Star and seven campaign ribbons.
* Leonard Boswell: Lt. Col., Army 1956-76; Vietnam, DFCs, Bronze Stars,and Soldier's Medal.
* Pete Peterson: Air Force Captain, POW. Purple Heart, Silver Star and Legion of Merit.
* Mike Thompson: Staff sergeant, 173rd Airborne, Purple Heart.
* Bill McBride: Candidate for Fla. Governor. Marine in Vietnam; Bronze Star with Combat V.
* Gray Davis: Army Captain in Vietnam, Bronze Star.
* Pete Stark: Air Force 1955-57
* Chuck Robb: Vietnam
* Howell Heflin: Silver Star
* George McGovern: Silver Star & DFC during WWII.
* Bill Clinton: Did not serve. Student deferments. Entered draft but received #311.
* Jimmy Carter: Seven years in the Navy.
* Walter Mondale: Army 1951-1953
* John Glenn: WWII and Korea; six DFCs and AirMedal with 18 Clusters.
* Tom Lantos: Served in Hungarian underground in WWII. Saved by Raoul Wallenberg.

Republicans

* Dick Cheney: did not serve. Several deferments, the last by marriage.
* Dennis Hastert: did not serve.
* Tom Delay: did not serve.
* Roy Blunt: did not serve.
* Bill Frist: did not serve.
* Mitch McConnell: did not serve.
* Rick Santorum: did not serve.
* Trent Lott: did not serve.
* John Ashcroft: did not serve. Seven deferments to teach business.
* Jeb Bush: did not serve.
* Karl Rove: did not serve.
* Saxby Chambliss: did not serve. 'Bad knee.' (The man who attacked Max Cleland's patriotism.)
* Paul Wolfowitz: did not serve.
* Vin Weber: did not serve.
* Richard Perle: did not serve.
* Douglas Feith: did not serve.
* Eliot Abrams: did not serve.
* Richard Shelby: did not serve.
* Jon! Kyl: did not serve.
* Tim Hutchison: did not serve.
* Christopher Cox: did not serve.
* Newt Gingrich: did not serve.
* Don Rumsfeld: served in Navy (1954-57) as flight instructor.
* George W. Bush: failed to complete his six-year National Guard; failed to show up
* B-1 Bob Dornan: enlisted after fighting was over in Korea.
* Phil Gramm: did not serve.
* John McCain: Vietnam POW, Silver Star, Bronze Star, Legion of Merit, Purple Heart and Distinguished Flying Cross.
* Dana Rohrabacher: did not serve.
* John M. McHugh: did not serve.
* JC Watts: did not serve.
* Jack Kemp: did not serve. 'Knee problem, ' although continued in NFL for 8 years as quarterback.
* Dan Quayle: Journalism unit of the Indiana National Guard.
* Rudy Giuliani: did not serve.
* George Pataki: did not serve.
* Spencer Abraham: did not serve.
* John Engler: did not serve.
* Lindsey Graham: National Guard lawyer.
* Arnold Schwarzenegger: AWOL from Austrian army base.

Pundits & Preachers

* Sean Hannity: did not serve.
* Rush Limbaugh: did not serve
* Bill O'Reilly: did not serve.
* Michael Savage: did not serve.
* George Will: did not serve.
* Chris Matthews: did not serve.
* Paul Gigot: did not serve.
* Bill Bennett: did not serve.
* Pat Buchanan: did not serve.
* John Wayne: did not serve.
* Bill Kristol: did not serve.
* Kenneth Starr: did not serve.
* Antonin Scalia: did not serve.
* Clarence Thomas: did not serve.
* Ralph Reed: did not serve.
* Michael Medved: did not serve."

Talk host's towering rant: S.F. not worth saving

2005-11-16T19:21:00.000-05:00

What has happened to television when a host of a major cable news network's show says things like this? Here is just a snippet.... The entire article is a must read... You won't believe it.

Talk host's towering rant: S.F. not worth saving: "Conservative talk-show host Bill O'Reilly is ready to scratch San Francisco off the map of the United States. Gone. Coit Tower? Terrorists can blow it up, and the rest of the country shouldn't care.

The Fox News talk-show host and one-man conservative media juggernaut has concluded that the United States and San Francisco just don't go together anymore. Voting to oppose military recruitment in public schools and to ban handgun ownership, as San Franciscans did Tuesday, means the city should be cut off from federal dollars. And then some.

'You know, if I'm the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium and I say, 'Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you're not going to get another nickel in federal funds,' ' O'Reilly said Tuesday on his radio show as San Franciscans were approving the two measures. Perhaps, he didn't realize that he'd be speaking mostly to foreign tourists and suburbanites if he were standing in Union Square.

'Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead,' O'Reilly went on. 'And if al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead.'"

brrrrrrrrrrrr NO Not YETTTTTTTTTTTTT

2005-11-16T19:09:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm not ready for the four letter word "snow" to enter my life again. I am originally from Tennessee although I've lived many other places over the last thirty years I've never lived further north than Maryland. Now I'm here in this frozen state and it is already snowing. So far we have about an inch on the ground with a few more expected overnight. Grant it that is no blizzard but its brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr up here LOL. Calgonnnnnnnnnnnn Take me away

CNN.com - Bob Woodward: My CIA leak source not Libby - Nov 16, 2005

2005-11-16T19:05:00.000-05:00

CNN.com - Bob Woodward: My CIA leak source not Libby - Nov 16, 2005: "Bob Woodward: My CIA leak source not Libby
Reporter learned Plame's name a month before it was publicized

Wednesday, November 16, 2005; Posted: 6:42 p.m. EST (23:42 GMT)
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The Washington Post's Bob Woodward learned the identity of a CIA analyst from an unnamed Bush administration official almost a month before it was publicly revealed, the reporter said in a statement published Wednesday."

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm this sounds more and more like Libby is just a fall guy............

OMG! What are people thinking?

2005-11-16T18:53:00.000-05:00

Ok, I am all for efforts of reform for those who go to prison/jail. I even am all for giving second chances to people. However, it is just utterly ridiculous in my opinion that people would trust as they do at times. For example... Jim Baker was sent to Prison for basically running a corrupt religious television mission. Sure he served his time but come on people........ you sending your money again?????????? He is back on television with a new wife who looks very similar to Tammy Faye minus the mascara LOL. I am a channel flipper (need therapy my hubby says lol) and I've ran accross the channel with Mr Baker's show being aired and almost every time he is selling flashlights for his missions. This ranks right up there with the people of Washington DC electing Marion Barry again into government office after being sent to prison on drug charges. Where is the integrity in this? What are people thinking?

Do I Get Angry?

2005-11-13T21:29:00.000-05:00

I had someone recently ask me if I ever get angry. Yes, I certainly do. I get angry over different things at different times. However, anger is not an emotion I willingly allow to rule my actions. I naturally have a terrible temper and over the years I've had to learn to control it. As a youth I couldn't control my temper and when I'd really lose it I felt totally out of control and I don't like that feeling. So I've worked hard as I've grown up to control it. Little by little I guess I did change because now looking back I don't get angry over things nearly as easily as I used to. Now my tendencies toward anger are really more like frustrations. I get frustrated over circumstances but it takes a lot to truly get me angry now.

This is not to say that I don't have my moments of total out of control anger. I certainly do experience that on occasion. Usually it is after I've become overwhelmed with things and have reached a point where I can't take anything else. Although there are certain topics and issues that I take very serious and those things can spark anger in me rather quickly. I've also learned to take anger when I feel it and turn it into something positive by allowing it to fuel my determination to survive in this world, to not let things get the best of me and most of all my determination to not allow anything or anyone to cheat me out of the wonderful moments of my life. Yes I have bad moments and bad experiences but I refuse to allow those to take from me all the good moments too.

Subscribe?

2005-11-09T17:28:00.000-05:00

In the menu to the right you can now choose to subscribe to the "Southern Gal Living North" blog. You'll receive an email when a new blog is posted with a short synopse of what it is about. You then can choose to visit and read the entire article. If you wish to subscribe just scroll to the location under "welcome" where you submit your email address. Simple as that!

Truth Out Editorial

2005-11-09T16:50:00.000-05:00

Another must read article. Below is a note from the author and the link to read the entire article.

"I apologize in advance for the length of this essay. There is so much utter nonsense and outright disinformation flying around about Iraq right now that it takes 3,000 words to set things straight. Call this a fact-bomb, and put it to good use. - wrp"

Click here to read article

Propaganda...

2005-11-09T16:43:00.000-05:00

Discuss It � Propaganda: Alive And Well In America

A must read article...

Will the day ever come?

2005-11-09T16:25:00.000-05:00

I remember the day so well. It began with me turning on the television to check on our weather forecast because a few inches of snow had fallen overnight. To my surprise the television stations were all featuring the breaking news that Saddam Hussein had been captured by coalition forces in Iraq. They were awaiting a news conference for confirmation. That soon came and they showed pictures of him in captivity.

Throughout the day I watched the news as they time and time again played the video and waltzed their analysts and other so called expert guests on to share their opinion of what it meant that he was now captured. I couldn't help but think that BY FAR one of the greatest risks to us here in the United States as well as the world is Osama Bin Laden. I hope that one day soon I'll be waking up to the news of his capture. Do you think it will ever happen?

Sharing more...

2005-11-09T16:13:00.000-05:00

I've noticed since beginning this blog that it has been difficult for me to write about me personally. I seem to have trouble expressing how I feel personally so I therefore write about issues important to me or talk about things in a way that applies to people in general rather than just me. I'm not sure why I reach these points of solitude.

One of my biggest problems is my inability to function amidst chaos. When I have a lot of different things going on with different events bearing down on my life, it is at this time when I feel overwhelmed. I keep more to myself and don't share in this blog as I typically do in my written journal. I'm in a very public situation with my job so keeping to myself is much harder for me.

So I'm attempting to climb up from this place I've found myself and find in my soul the will to get through this chaos and reach for the light which will lead me to a better place, both emotionally and physically. This inner light that I believe we all have can be our own tour guide to take us to the better places in our life. To me, the better places are found when I seek my inner self and truly get to know who I am and how I'm feeling. Facing myself as a person and giving myself the opportunity to express openly what I'm feeling has helped me in the past immensely to get through the most difficult periods of my life.

The ole saying that we can't depend on anyone if we can't depend on ourselves is very true. We as a person must take responsibility for our lives and somehow find within ourselves the strength and the will to get through whatever life throws our way. This, of course is not an easy task and it takes some of us longer than others and I believe we have to give ourselves permission to take leave from it at times. We can't expect to always cope well. We will all have moments where life is too much and our burdens are too heavy. In those moments of despair, it is then that we will get to know ourselves the most. We learn a lot from ourselves simply by being forced to rely on who we are and what we think to guide us from a dark place.

To a dear friend...

2005-11-09T16:05:00.000-05:00

I had a long discussion with a very dear friend today. I treasure this person so very much. I can't go into detail here because I was told things in confidence and I'd never betray that trust but I know that she reads this blog and I just want her to know how much she means to me and how much my heart aches for what she is being forced to endure. She deserves so much better. I hope she knows just what a special person she is. I have admired her for so long because of the kind and gentle soul she has but after our conversation today I now respect her and admire her so much more because this lady has been through things unimaginable to most of us and yet she has come through it all and has remained a mild mannered, kind, gentle and loving person. She amazes me and I'm honored to call her my friend.

Ugly Actors

2005-11-07T22:47:00.000-05:00

I ran across this in one of the blogs (linked below) I read and just had to share it with readers here. It made some great points LOL.

Gwen's Super Happy Funtime Blog: "'Ugly' Actors

I was watching some movie the other day where the main male character has to interact with a number of potential dates, all of whom turn out to be unattractive and weird-looking. You know, the type of scene where from the back she looks fine, and then she turns around and she has big buck teeth or a hideous nose or something of the sort, and the male actor's face clearly displays his shock and disgust at the horrible sight confronting him.

That made me wonder: what is it like to audition for the role of an ugly person? How do you see a description of a role that says 'we're looking for a terribly unattractive person' and get all excited? What do you do when your agent calls up and says, 'I've got a role that would be perfect for you!' and you discover it's of the hideously ugly would-be romantic interest?

I mean, wouldn't it be a little hard on your self esteem to apply for roles that are advertised as being for someone who is ugly? Do the actors who take these roles think of themselves as ugly? Or do they think, 'Well, I'm not ugly, it's just the makeup'? Is it just the makeup, and in real life they're all outstandingly gorgeous? How must it feel to play out a scene in which you have to smile and watch your fellow actor screw up his/her face in disgust at what a dreadful sight you are? Is it hard on child actors who play the fat/ugly kid? Or does getting to be on screen make up for everything? If I were being a better sociologist today, I would say something like, 'How does a person negotiate his or her identity and sense of self in response to social signals that blah blah blah dee blah?'"

Democratic Underground

2005-11-06T14:08:00.000-05:00

Democratic Underground: "McCain vows to add torture ban to all major Senate legislation Posted by Algorem Added to homepage Sat Nov 05th 2005, 03:40 PM ET

WASHINGTON - Girding for a potential fight with the Bush administration, supporters of a ban on torturing prisoners of war by U.S. interrogators threatened Friday to include the prohibition in nearly every bill the Senate considers until it becomes law.

The no-torture wording, which proponents say is supported by majorities in both houses of Congress, was included last month in the Senate's version of a defense spending bill. The measure's final form is being negotiated with the House, and the White House is pushing for either a rewording or deletion of the torture ban.

On Friday, at the urging of Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz, the Senate by a voice vote added the ban to a related defense bill as a backup. advertisement

Speaking from the Senate floor, McCain said, 'If necessary - and I sincerely hope it is not - I and the co-sponsors of this amendment will seek to add it to every piece of important legislation voted on in the Senate until the will of a substantial bipartisan majority in both houses of Congress prevails. Let no one doubt our determination.'"

------------------------------------
Well, we all know that McCain knows a thing or two about torture so I'm proud of the fact that he is standing up for what he believes on this issue. However, I wish he would have been so brave on other issues pertaining to recent years of the current administration. Also this just wreaks politics considering a Presidential election is on the horizon. Hmmmmmmmmmm???

A Note For Future Generations...

2005-11-03T16:03:00.000-05:00

If you had to write a note - one note- and leave propped against the sugar bowl on your kitchen table for future generations to read what would you say in the note?

Never stop learning. We always need to feed our hunger for knowledge in every possible way. Knowledge is power. Once we hold in our hands knowledge about something we then can take the proper action. One of the most successful ways to feed our minds with knowledge is through the world of books. We can go on adventures we'd never get the opportunity to travel. We can experience situations through the eyes of others that we ourselves will never be touched by. Books are true windows into the world.

I Dip My Pen...

2005-11-03T14:07:00.000-05:00

"I dip my pen in the blackest ink, because I'm not afraid of falling into my inkpot."
- - Ralph Waldo Emerson

This quote brings to mind my willingness to share my story and my life with others through my writings. I share in the hopes that I can locate others who can relate and understand what I'm experiencing. I share because others may need to know that I understand and that I can relate to what they are going through. It also brings to mind my need to dwell deeply in my soul and come to terms with who I am and accept the life I'm living. Dipping my pen into my own inkpot is my own way of delving into my life, my emotions, my hopes and my dreams. The dipping of my pen into my own inkpot is my way of dipping deep into my soul and getting to know my true inner self.

Change...

2005-11-03T12:34:00.000-05:00

"GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference." -- Author Unknown

This saying is so true. We do need to accept the things we cannot change. So often we want to fix things that are just not able to be fixed. Perhaps it is not our place to fix them. A good example is with our children. When they are going down a path we feel is the wrong one for them to travel we instantly want to rush in and put them on the right course. But if that child doesn't want to go down the path we've chosen for them there is nothing we can do to alter that. We can try to persuade them but in the end it is their choice to make once they are grown.

I also find that I must accept the things I cannot change regarding my life. That is not easy because I want to somehow find a way to just make all the bad parts go away. Trying to change something that cannot be changed is very frustrating and stressful. By the same token we should hope for the strength and courage to take action and change the areas of our lives that we can make better. We can learn to take charge of things in our lives that we can use to become a better person. This also is not always easy because sometimes doing nothing in a tough situation seems like the safest road to go but it isn't always the wisest. Standing up and taking action takes courage and guts. It isn't always easy to face up to things in our life which we'd prefer to ignore.

Knowing the difference between those things we can change and those we cannot is not an easy task. I know that I get them confused constantly. Often times I don't know it is something I cannot change until I've tried over and over to change it. I guess it ends up being an admission to defeat and then I realize that it wasn't my situation to alter. I have to leave it to work out on its own. I have no idea how to explain a way to know the difference. I guess over the years through much trial and error we begin to sort situations out and recognize those things we just have to accept as is...

Peace at 3am????

2005-11-01T02:59:00.000-05:00

Waking up in the wee morning hours is very therapeutic for me sometimes. Quietly walking through the house in my night clothes and comfy warm slippers. The sound of others sleeping and the quiet tones of a home full of love but with nothing verbal to confirm that forces me to think of the people that mean the most to me. Rather than rely on verbal confirmation of our love for one another I must then dwell on the warm memories that I have held so dear.

I grab a cup of something warm to drink. Sometimes I cheat and have regular coffee but I pay dearly so I've learned to forego the caffeine and enjoy the taste of decaffeinated coffee or some warm caffeine free herbal tea. Ok, I have my cup now and in the warm months I'll perhaps go sit on my deck and look at the stars and focus on the beautiful sky as the sun begins to rise. The sky is very beautiful in the morning with all the changes of color as night slowly becomes day.

There are also times I use the morning hours as my own special time to read, write or just sit and reflect on the things I must accomplish. Sometimes I come to my computer and sit with silence around me and click away at my keyboard sharing a moment in time with great friends and many people who have become like family. Of course for one reason or another I don't get to enjoy this adventure each morning because many mornings my bed holds onto me for a little longer. But I have learned to treasure the beauty of those nights when sleep doesn't come or when it leaves me in the early hours forcing me to open my eyes and breath the crisp air and to view the wonder of morning.

Attitude

2005-11-01T01:12:00.000-05:00

Our attitude toward life can shape the world around us. Our view of the world in many ways is a mere reflection of our own believes, thoughts, attitudes and personality. We can attract to ourselves the sort of people, the sort of activities and events that are closely linked to our own thoughts and actions. What we view of the world will be shaped by how we view life and what we think about ourselves. I do believe this. For this reason I work hard to keep a positive attitude and to look at the world with a hopeful eye. No one is able to accomplish this every moment of every day. We all go through difficult periods in our life and during those times we may find it impossible to feel positive about our life. I do believe we are better served if we can quickly retreat to a positive train of thought.

What do you think about people who are inconsiderate of others?

2005-10-30T21:16:00.000-05:00

This seems to be a real problem in the area where I live. Perhaps it has gotten worse everywhere but when we travel and return here I see a noticeable difference. This is a very fast paced area so perhaps everyone is just too busy with their own lives to take a moment to be considerate of others. Sort of like, they'd have to slow down so they just keep moving without giving thought to common courtesy and the consideration for those around them.

I have met in my lifetime some people that are very inconsiderate of others. They will beat down others who ask for a helping hand but yet, when the table is turned and they need the help they don't hesitate to put their hand out. The shoe is viewed differently when it is on your foot. I've witnessed people tear someone down for sharing something or doing something and then they themselves will turn around and do the same thing.

I try to think of life in the terms of "What if I needed help". We have to quit judging people so harshly. I know that there are circumstances to the contrary but we better wake up to the human spirit and nourish it, not only in ourselves but in others as well. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes I have got burned several times due to this attitude but I've also got to experience some real blessings in life.

So I believe that we should be ever considerate to the needs of other people but we also should respect common human decency and be courteous. If we develop some principles for our actions and we stand firm on them and use those when coming in contact with other people I believe we'll form a very compassionate personality. We should never hesitate to help others and be compassionate because you never know when you may be the one in need.

Senate, minimum wage, parenting, etc

2005-10-25T16:28:00.000-04:00

I do not fall into the category where I make minimum wage but I overheard on the news that the senate rejected a bill which would have raised the minimum wage from the present $5.15 an hour to $6.25. For the past eight years the senate has failed to approve raising the minimum wage to help minimize the near-poverty that people in this income bracket must sustain. Only one other time in history has there been this much time go by without raising the minimum wage. The true sadness to this is that during the same amount of time the Senate has given themselves seven (yep seven) pay increases which raised their income by $28.000. With inflation alone over these eight years it would stand to reason that a person couldn't raise a family on this wage. This is why most people resort to working two or more jobs. In my opinion this takes parents from their children and leaving them in the care of others to raise. So when we have government officials complaining about how children are guided by their parents perhaps they should stand up and take some of the responsibility themselves. Just who is it taking the parents from their children?

MY First Born

2005-10-25T12:37:00.000-04:00

When I found out I was pregnant the first time I was so young that honestly it seemed like a cool thing. Something that meant I was finally grown up. The only problem was that I was far from grown up and even father from acting grown up. In the first few months of my pregnancy I was very sick. I have morning, noon and night sickness. As the months passed it eased up a bit but I still had days where I was sick right up to when I gave birth. I think there was a part of me that enjoyed planning the childhood of someone else. I was in such awe that this little innocent life was going to be in my hands, my responsibility. Most of all I absolutely bathed myself in joy when I thought about the love I was going to feel for this child, the love I already felt for it as it grew inside of me. There was also great satisfaction in my belief that this child would love me.

As my pregnancy progressed I didn't really think much about the birth. I knew realistically that it would hurt but I just didn't think about that much. I was enjoying feeling the life grow inside of me and was having a blast preparing his space in our home and in our life. My husband and I, a newly married couple with only a few months of marriage before I got pregnant left us inexperienced but I'm proud to say that my husband took his responsibilities serious and began to build our life with the future in mind.

The day that I went into labor I woke up that morning with a back ache. I was due and my husband had to go to work so he took me to the home of a family member. I spent the day there and the back ache continued and around 4 PM I began having what we concluded were contractions. They were spaced apart fairly far so we weren't overly concerned. My husband came to pick me up. We believed that I was going to go to the hospital that night and we had no groceries so we go to the store. While there the contractions got much harder and much closer.

We stopped by the homes of two family members on our way to tell them that we were going to go home to take the groceries and then go to the hospital. We didn't have a phone so we told them to meet us out the hospital at a certain time. Well we get to our place and begin to put the groceries up when my pains just suddenly stop. We then think it was false labor. We finish putting the groceries up and then wait another thirty minutes or so before we decide that we are sure that it is over and I'm not in real labor. My husband is getting ready to go tell them we aren't going to go to the hospital. All of a sudden I have a contraction that nearly took me to the floor. So off we go to the hospital as we had originally planned.

I get there and I'm four centimeters dilated. They had me walk the hall for about an hour. They decided at 10 PM to keep me and told us that I was going to have a baby that night. I was suddenly scared out of my wit. I was scared of the pain but more than that I was scared of being a mother. I wondered if I'd be a good mother, did I know how to be a good mother. All I knew was that I loved this baby and wanted to be the best mother I could be. Back in those days others were not allowed into labor and delivery so I was in the room all by myself......all by myself with my thoughts running rampant in my head.

The contractions remained steady and I slowly began to dilate. Then it seemed as if I got to 7 centimeters and couldn't get any further. By 6am the doctors began to get concerned and came to speak with me. I was exhausted and so weak. They feared I was too small to give birth or that I didn't have the capacity to dilate to ten centimeters. They took me to x-ray and confirmed that there was no way that I was going to be able to give birth to this baby naturally. I had dilated all that my body would do and it wasn't enough to give birth. So they prepped me for a C-section and took me to the operating room.

I was scared for my baby more than anything. When they took me from the labor and delivery area to the operating room they allowed my husband to speak to me for a moment. At 9:45am my first child was born and weighed in at 7 pounds 13 ounces being 21 inches long. He was healthy as could be. I was so so happy. He was so beautiful. The first time I held him and I looked into his eyes I was mesmerized by the love I felt for this little human being. I was so proud of him and for everything he would become....this still holds true today some 27 years later. He is a wonderful father of his own daughter now and I couldn't be prouder.

What am I most thankful for?

2005-10-23T14:17:00.000-04:00

When we suffer through a difficult time we often find it hard to stay focused on those things we are and should be most thankful for. This isn't because we have a negative way of looking at life but instead is because our daily activities are forever faced with the challenges of what is going on in our life. This can change our perception on life in general and on those things around us which are true blessings.

It takes a conscious effort to look at those things around us which are wonderful and to perceive our life as a blessing. It also takes a conscious effort on our part to view deep within ourselves to locate the true meaning of life to us and to come to terms with those blessings which have been bestowed upon us. This ability to see deep within ourselves doesn't come natural to everyone and can be more or less difficult depending on the individual. However, each of us can learn this ability and find in our hearts the will to love life and be thankful for each new day.

How? You ask. Well of course this also is dependent on the person and their dedication to locating the blessings. Sometimes a person may be going through the stages of grief associated with a difficult period in their life and adapting to the new course their life has taken. Those people may not be at a point in their life where they are ready to dig deep within and locate the positive aspects of their life. This is ok and they should give themselves time to work through whatever issues that are important to them right now. They will reach this point eventually.

For those who are ready to delve into their inner thoughts and learn their true blessings then it can be somewhat easier to accomplish. Each persons view of a blessing can be very different. The ole saying "one man's trash is another man's treasure" in some ways applies here. One person may view a situation as a terrible event in their life while another person may be able to see through the terrible part and see a true blessing that they obtained as a result". So each of us have to look at our own situation and try to make a conscious effort to look deep for what we've learned from it and how our life has been changed for the better as a result.

This is not to say that we should put blinders on to all the bad parts that our situation has given to our lives. Those are painful experiences and very real and we cannot simply ignore those. But it is a good idea to take a moment as often as possible and just dwell on good things and the wonderful moments of our life. This will give us the strength to face our day to day life. This will give us the will to move on and the courage to love life to spite having an illness.

At this point we will begin to see many things to be thankful for and push those things we are less thankful for toward the back of our minds. Looking forward, holding dear to our hearts those things in our life that we are most thankful for will bring us many blessings to enjoy as our life continues down the path it is meant to travel. So this year on Thanksgiving day I will focus deep on those things in my life that are wonderful and have such warm and deep meaning. They may not mean the same to someone else so rather than share my own personal things I'm most thankful for I'd like to encourage each of you to find a quiet location and spend a few moments in solitude thought and reflect on the things that mean happiness to you in your life and the things you feel you've learned along the way that has made you a better person. I hope that by doing this you will learn that you are a precious gift given to all who know and associate with you and others are very thankful for having known you.