Hello and Welcome

Well this is new for me to be sharing my life as if its an open book for all the world to see. I've been doing this online on some level for a few years while managing support forums for people who have chronic illnesses. This however is totally from a different perspective. I've been toying with the idea of creating an online blog but just kept putting it off. Well no more. Today's the day. So here goes. In my typical fashion I'm just going to jump in with both feet and go for it. Ok, both fingers on a keyboard...well....whatever, those reading this get the picture .

I'm sure at first it is going to be difficult for me to write openly in this new format but I hope to relax soon and fall into a mode of sharing my daily routine, momentary thoughts, quick ideas, emotions and fears here with no forethought. I'm rattling on and on right now in an attempt to get myself relaxed and my thoughts flowing. Oh no, when I do that it is hard to tell where this will lead. Hmmm, well that is what a diary is for so... I think as time passes my writings will get more in touch with what this blog is supposed to represent. For now I'll just write what comes to mind. I'll write what I'm feeling emotionally at any given moment or perhaps share what I've done that day or maybe just how I'm feeling physically. I'll just take each day one day at a time.

Putting my self out here exposed as this on a daily basis concerned me and is one reason I hesitated to do it before. I've always been a person that doesn't hesitate to lunge out there and jump right into things. I have very passionate ideas about things and often don't hesitate to share. I always run my mouth if you will and am always willing to share my story about how I've been affected by life in general. I do that in part because I'm a people person and just have a knack for opening up to the human spirit. I also like to help if I can. I'm nobody special but if by sharing my own experiences with them helps them cope a little better than it is something I'm eager to do.

Over the years I've had a lot of people appreciate the fact that I'm open and that I put myself out there. They can relate and I must say before I continue on this topic that the majority of people have been nothing but positive and supportive to me. 99.9 percent of my online activity and the people I've got to know online have been a very wonderful and special experience and have been nothing but supportive and kind.

However, I'm sure others criticize me or have negative opinions of me, about how open I am to talk about my life and my activity in the email support group I moderate and my participation in other public forums. I've had some things about me scrutinized and analyzed on a few occasions which got back to me. I noticed because of this that I gradually became hesitant to open up and share my inner most feelings and to take part in discussions. I was concerned that if I put a public blog online and wrote in it daily that I was just opening myself up.

Well I came across a quote

“To escape criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."
-- Elbert Hubbard, American author & publisher

This revealing moment made me realize that I am who I am. I like to be open, sharing with my thoughts and experiences. I like that part about me. I'm not going to allow anyone or anything to make me into something I'm not. I trust the human spirit and know that for the most part people will appreciate me for who I am. And for those who don't then that is their right and they don't have to visit my site, be a part of anything I moderate or communicate with me at all. I'm sorry but I must be who I am because to try and shape my actions to avoid criticism means I'm shaping my personality into a person I don't like. If anyone wishes to read what I say and only view it in a negative light then I can't stop them but by the same token I can't allow them to stop me from being who I am, doing what I believe is right and becoming at peace with myself.

I'm kind of excited about this new blog now. When I began writing this I was hesitant but now I'm excited and looking forward to the time I spend in solitude writing here.