We are still needed

On days when life gets me down it seems as if I sit gaining up the strength to be happy that I am alive. To feel blessed that I have a special someone, my children and family who love me and who need me in their lives. It is nice to feel needed. As we get older and our children go on with their own lives we sometimes lose that needed feeling. It isn't a selfishness coming out of us, it is just that human need that we all have to be wanted and loved.

I have had moments in my life where I've thought that everyone would be better off without me. From the vantage point that I'm looking during those moments it seems so clear to me that they would be happier if they didn't have me keeping their life at bay. Maybe in some ways these are the moments that I'm feeling sorry for myself, I'm not sure but they are felt deep in my heart and I am convinced at that very moment.

Then my special man will call me just to talk, to tell me what is going on during his day. Perhaps one of my children will come in the door and just begin chatting away about something in their life. They felt comfortable in coming to me and just sharing. Perhaps my just being here for those moments means that I'm needed and wanted.

My special man will be warm toward me and make me feel as though my company is all he needs for him to feel at peace, for him to feel loved and needed. By this, does that mean that I'm needed simply to be there to fill this space in his life? Am I needed, simply because I am a part of his life? Would my absence leave a hole in his life that nothing could fill?

Then my grandchildren, those precious eyes will look up at me with such joy, such innocence and they act as if I am one of the most special people in their life. There is a need in all of us to know our ancestors and perhaps my grandchildren need me in their life simply so I can tell them the stories of old, the ones that were told to me as a child, the ones of our family history. Perhaps they need me in their life simply because I can provide a special love that only a grandmother can give to a child.

When I look at the simple facts of life, suddenly I feel needed just for those times. Then focusing more on the deeper side I can see that situations I've been forced to endure has taught me so much about the real values of life, those that matter most. Perhaps my presence in the life of my family helps to bring to their hearts those same realizations. Maybe I'm needed by them more than I realize. I sure know that I need them and wouldn't truly want to miss a minute of the life I have with them. So why would I think they'd feel any differently?