Family who don't understand

In my field of work I've dealt with those who suffer from chronic illnesses who find that when the chips are down they do not get the support needed from those they love most. When a person is experiencing a bought with a chronic illness they often begin to spiral down into a pit of hopelessness. They often even become depressed because they see their lives utterly without hope and they see no hope for a future that they can bear. In some situations the family doesn't help things. They may place demands on the person that they cannot keep up with and when the person asks for their help and receives a response that is clear to them that their family member would rather be having teeth pulled tells them only one thing.... they are alone.

When it comes to those who suffer from chronic illnesses and they see that their family members don't want to help them now and they know that they may get worse later they feel helpless with not knowing how they are going to manage later. This brings in the hopeless feeling and this quickly becomes a notion that their only option is to give up, chuck it in and die. Families should be uplifting these sick family members, not pulling them down. Encouraging them to do for themselves when they can and to keep their spirits high is one thing but the family never should let this evolve into them forcing the sick member of their family to go on with no help from them because it is their excuse to get out of helping. Often the response from loved ones is that the ill person can still do it for themselves without asking someone else to get up to do it. Oh yes this may be true but consider the additional pain they may be forced to endure to do that job when the healthy family member can just do it painlessly and without any ill effect.

I don't get it really. Don't the family members see that helping their loved one who is ill with such small gestures makes a huge difference in their life. It is a stuggle for these individuals to do what they do and they do it with love and devotion trying to carry on. However reality has forced them to a different height. I know that I personally would never wish for my spouse, sibling, etc to struggle to reach something or do a job that I could easily do for them with no pain whatsoever. I'd never want to see my loved one struggle through pain to do something just so I wouldn't have to lift a finger to help.

Then for these people suffering, the sadness rolls in and they don't understand how their family can treat them this way. They know that if the table was turned they certainly wouldn't do that to them. They feel so alone and as if they must get through what they are going through all by themselves. They wonder how they are going to manage. Don't these family members see how much they are needed? Most of all.... don't they see that their love, support and help is what will sustain their loved one who is ill and give them the will to fight for their life and survive?