Why suffer in silence?

A person can have all the support in the world. A loving spouse, caring family members as well as attentive friends. However, even with all this support there are times that we still feel that our life is such a struggle. We know that we are more blessed than many, simply because we have such a great support structure. But, that doesn't take away from our own inner personal struggle with what is going on in our life. Someone else's pain seems so much greater than ours and we think how lucky we are, but in our hearts, our own pain, our suffering, our situation seems like it is just too much to bear.

We feel so torn by what we are going through and yet we feel guilty by having what we think of as negative emotions. We somehow think that simply because we have support or our health isn't as bad as someone else's or perhaps because we don't struggle to pay for health care, etc that we don't have the right to feel like we do. While trying to force ourselves to feel as though we are so blessed we actually feel like our life is a piece of dirt, something we wish we could sweep into a garbage pail and be done with. We think that because others have it worse than we do that we shouldn't feel emotionally devastated.

Why is this? Why do we beat ourselves up this way and think that we must suffer in silence simply because our life hasn't been torn to shreds in the same way other peoples lives have been torn? Perhaps if others knew the struggles we've endured they'd too wonder how we cope. Why are there people in this world who think that they are not worthy of admitting they are struggling?

Perhaps we did it to ourselves by always putting up that strong facade, always appearing to be "okay" and always putting forth the attitude that we are coping just fine. Suddenly we just don't think we can break down that wall and admit that we aren't coping well, that we aren't ok and that we too cry, we too hurt, we too have had enough. It isn't that we feel this way every moment of every day but we do have our moments of anguish and yet we keep them to ourselves and go on as if everything is fine. I don't understand why?

I do realize that In part I am this way because I don't want people to think that I am trying to focus attention onto me. I don't want to feel as though people may think I'm saying "Woe is me". I am also very uncomfortable with sharing personal comments to do with certain emotions I experience. I want other people to feel comfortable and share their inner emotions with me and I'm eager to be there to listen and comfort them but when I try to do the same thing and share my emotions when they're not necessarily happy ones then I feel like I can't do that.

Another part of the reason I'm this way is because I'm too stubborn to admit that I'm human and am not always the all happy wappy, chipper gal. The positive attitude that I often talk about is very real and true. I really do feel that way most of the time but I hesitate to share that I also fall apart at times, I also have times of emotional struggle. Why? This I must work to understand about myself. This is something I must figure out so I can find my inner self and feel at ease with my true emotions.