Family who don't understand

In my field of work I've dealt with those who suffer from chronic illnesses who find that when the chips are down they do not get the support needed from those they love most. When a person is experiencing a bought with a chronic illness they often begin to spiral down into a pit of hopelessness. They often even become depressed because they see their lives utterly without hope and they see no hope for a future that they can bear. In some situations the family doesn't help things. They may place demands on the person that they cannot keep up with and when the person asks for their help and receives a response that is clear to them that their family member would rather be having teeth pulled tells them only one thing.... they are alone.

When it comes to those who suffer from chronic illnesses and they see that their family members don't want to help them now and they know that they may get worse later they feel helpless with not knowing how they are going to manage later. This brings in the hopeless feeling and this quickly becomes a notion that their only option is to give up, chuck it in and die. Families should be uplifting these sick family members, not pulling them down. Encouraging them to do for themselves when they can and to keep their spirits high is one thing but the family never should let this evolve into them forcing the sick member of their family to go on with no help from them because it is their excuse to get out of helping. Often the response from loved ones is that the ill person can still do it for themselves without asking someone else to get up to do it. Oh yes this may be true but consider the additional pain they may be forced to endure to do that job when the healthy family member can just do it painlessly and without any ill effect.

I don't get it really. Don't the family members see that helping their loved one who is ill with such small gestures makes a huge difference in their life. It is a stuggle for these individuals to do what they do and they do it with love and devotion trying to carry on. However reality has forced them to a different height. I know that I personally would never wish for my spouse, sibling, etc to struggle to reach something or do a job that I could easily do for them with no pain whatsoever. I'd never want to see my loved one struggle through pain to do something just so I wouldn't have to lift a finger to help.

Then for these people suffering, the sadness rolls in and they don't understand how their family can treat them this way. They know that if the table was turned they certainly wouldn't do that to them. They feel so alone and as if they must get through what they are going through all by themselves. They wonder how they are going to manage. Don't these family members see how much they are needed? Most of all.... don't they see that their love, support and help is what will sustain their loved one who is ill and give them the will to fight for their life and survive?

Service in the Armed Forces

With so much discussion about patriotism along with much criticism of how patriotic you really are I feel that this is worth sharing now more than ever.

Upper Left:

Service in the Armed Forces


Democrats:

* Richard Gephardt: Air National Guard, 1965-71.
* David Bonior: Staff Sgt., Air Force 1968-72.
* Tom Daschle: 1st Lt., Air Force SAC 1969-72.
* Al Gore: enlisted Aug. 1969; sent to Vietnam Jan. 1971 as an army journalist in
20th Engineer Brigade.
* Bob Kerrey: Lt. j.g. Navy 1966-69; Medal of Honor, Vietnam.
* Daniel Inouye: Army 1943-47; Medal of Honor, WWII.
* John Kerry: Lt., Navy 1966-70; Silver Star, Bronze Star with Combat V,Purple
Hearts.
* Charles Rangel: Staff Sgt., Army 1948-52; Bronze Star, Korea.
* Max Cleland: Captain, Army 1965-68; Silver Star & Bronze Star, Vietnam. Paraplegic from war injuries. Served in Congress.
* Ted Kennedy: Army, 1951-53.
* Tom Harkin: Lt., Navy, 1962-67; Naval Reserve, 1968-74.
* Jack Reed: Army Ranger, 1971-1979; Captain, Army Reserve 1979-91.
* Fritz Hollings: Army officer in WWII; Bronze Star and seven campaign ribbons.
* Leonard Boswell: Lt. Col., Army 1956-76; Vietnam, DFCs, Bronze Stars,and Soldier's Medal.
* Pete Peterson: Air Force Captain, POW. Purple Heart, Silver Star and Legion of Merit.
* Mike Thompson: Staff sergeant, 173rd Airborne, Purple Heart.
* Bill McBride: Candidate for Fla. Governor. Marine in Vietnam; Bronze Star with Combat V.
* Gray Davis: Army Captain in Vietnam, Bronze Star.
* Pete Stark: Air Force 1955-57
* Chuck Robb: Vietnam
* Howell Heflin: Silver Star
* George McGovern: Silver Star & DFC during WWII.
* Bill Clinton: Did not serve. Student deferments. Entered draft but received #311.
* Jimmy Carter: Seven years in the Navy.
* Walter Mondale: Army 1951-1953
* John Glenn: WWII and Korea; six DFCs and AirMedal with 18 Clusters.
* Tom Lantos: Served in Hungarian underground in WWII. Saved by Raoul Wallenberg.

Republicans

* Dick Cheney: did not serve. Several deferments, the last by marriage.
* Dennis Hastert: did not serve.
* Tom Delay: did not serve.
* Roy Blunt: did not serve.
* Bill Frist: did not serve.
* Mitch McConnell: did not serve.
* Rick Santorum: did not serve.
* Trent Lott: did not serve.
* John Ashcroft: did not serve. Seven deferments to teach business.
* Jeb Bush: did not serve.
* Karl Rove: did not serve.
* Saxby Chambliss: did not serve. 'Bad knee.' (The man who attacked Max Cleland's patriotism.)
* Paul Wolfowitz: did not serve.
* Vin Weber: did not serve.
* Richard Perle: did not serve.
* Douglas Feith: did not serve.
* Eliot Abrams: did not serve.
* Richard Shelby: did not serve.
* Jon! Kyl: did not serve.
* Tim Hutchison: did not serve.
* Christopher Cox: did not serve.
* Newt Gingrich: did not serve.
* Don Rumsfeld: served in Navy (1954-57) as flight instructor.
* George W. Bush: failed to complete his six-year National Guard; failed to show up
* B-1 Bob Dornan: enlisted after fighting was over in Korea.
* Phil Gramm: did not serve.
* John McCain: Vietnam POW, Silver Star, Bronze Star, Legion of Merit, Purple Heart and Distinguished Flying Cross.
* Dana Rohrabacher: did not serve.
* John M. McHugh: did not serve.
* JC Watts: did not serve.
* Jack Kemp: did not serve. 'Knee problem, ' although continued in NFL for 8 years as quarterback.
* Dan Quayle: Journalism unit of the Indiana National Guard.
* Rudy Giuliani: did not serve.
* George Pataki: did not serve.
* Spencer Abraham: did not serve.
* John Engler: did not serve.
* Lindsey Graham: National Guard lawyer.
* Arnold Schwarzenegger: AWOL from Austrian army base.

Pundits & Preachers

* Sean Hannity: did not serve.
* Rush Limbaugh: did not serve
* Bill O'Reilly: did not serve.
* Michael Savage: did not serve.
* George Will: did not serve.
* Chris Matthews: did not serve.
* Paul Gigot: did not serve.
* Bill Bennett: did not serve.
* Pat Buchanan: did not serve.
* John Wayne: did not serve.
* Bill Kristol: did not serve.
* Kenneth Starr: did not serve.
* Antonin Scalia: did not serve.
* Clarence Thomas: did not serve.
* Ralph Reed: did not serve.
* Michael Medved: did not serve."

Talk host's towering rant: S.F. not worth saving

What has happened to television when a host of a major cable news network's show says things like this? Here is just a snippet.... The entire article is a must read... You won't believe it.

Talk host's towering rant: S.F. not worth saving: "Conservative talk-show host Bill O'Reilly is ready to scratch San Francisco off the map of the United States. Gone. Coit Tower? Terrorists can blow it up, and the rest of the country shouldn't care.

The Fox News talk-show host and one-man conservative media juggernaut has concluded that the United States and San Francisco just don't go together anymore. Voting to oppose military recruitment in public schools and to ban handgun ownership, as San Franciscans did Tuesday, means the city should be cut off from federal dollars. And then some.

'You know, if I'm the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium and I say, 'Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you're not going to get another nickel in federal funds,' ' O'Reilly said Tuesday on his radio show as San Franciscans were approving the two measures. Perhaps, he didn't realize that he'd be speaking mostly to foreign tourists and suburbanites if he were standing in Union Square.

'Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead,' O'Reilly went on. 'And if al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead.'"

brrrrrrrrrrrr NO Not YETTTTTTTTTTTTT

Ok, I'm not ready for the four letter word "snow" to enter my life again. I am originally from Tennessee although I've lived many other places over the last thirty years I've never lived further north than Maryland. Now I'm here in this frozen state and it is already snowing. So far we have about an inch on the ground with a few more expected overnight. Grant it that is no blizzard but its brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr up here LOL. Calgonnnnnnnnnnnn Take me away

CNN.com - Bob Woodward: My CIA leak source not Libby - Nov 16, 2005

CNN.com - Bob Woodward: My CIA leak source not Libby - Nov 16, 2005: "Bob Woodward: My CIA leak source not Libby
Reporter learned Plame's name a month before it was publicized

Wednesday, November 16, 2005; Posted: 6:42 p.m. EST (23:42 GMT)
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The Washington Post's Bob Woodward learned the identity of a CIA analyst from an unnamed Bush administration official almost a month before it was publicly revealed, the reporter said in a statement published Wednesday."

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm this sounds more and more like Libby is just a fall guy............

OMG! What are people thinking?

Ok, I am all for efforts of reform for those who go to prison/jail. I even am all for giving second chances to people. However, it is just utterly ridiculous in my opinion that people would trust as they do at times. For example... Jim Baker was sent to Prison for basically running a corrupt religious television mission. Sure he served his time but come on people........ you sending your money again?????????? He is back on television with a new wife who looks very similar to Tammy Faye minus the mascara LOL. I am a channel flipper (need therapy my hubby says lol) and I've ran accross the channel with Mr Baker's show being aired and almost every time he is selling flashlights for his missions. This ranks right up there with the people of Washington DC electing Marion Barry again into government office after being sent to prison on drug charges. Where is the integrity in this? What are people thinking?

Do I Get Angry?

I had someone recently ask me if I ever get angry. Yes, I certainly do. I get angry over different things at different times. However, anger is not an emotion I willingly allow to rule my actions. I naturally have a terrible temper and over the years I've had to learn to control it. As a youth I couldn't control my temper and when I'd really lose it I felt totally out of control and I don't like that feeling. So I've worked hard as I've grown up to control it. Little by little I guess I did change because now looking back I don't get angry over things nearly as easily as I used to. Now my tendencies toward anger are really more like frustrations. I get frustrated over circumstances but it takes a lot to truly get me angry now.

This is not to say that I don't have my moments of total out of control anger. I certainly do experience that on occasion. Usually it is after I've become overwhelmed with things and have reached a point where I can't take anything else. Although there are certain topics and issues that I take very serious and those things can spark anger in me rather quickly. I've also learned to take anger when I feel it and turn it into something positive by allowing it to fuel my determination to survive in this world, to not let things get the best of me and most of all my determination to not allow anything or anyone to cheat me out of the wonderful moments of my life. Yes I have bad moments and bad experiences but I refuse to allow those to take from me all the good moments too.

Subscribe?

In the menu to the right you can now choose to subscribe to the "Southern Gal Living North" blog. You'll receive an email when a new blog is posted with a short synopse of what it is about. You then can choose to visit and read the entire article. If you wish to subscribe just scroll to the location under "welcome" where you submit your email address. Simple as that!

Truth Out Editorial

Another must read article. Below is a note from the author and the link to read the entire article.

"I apologize in advance for the length of this essay. There is so much utter nonsense and outright disinformation flying around about Iraq right now that it takes 3,000 words to set things straight. Call this a fact-bomb, and put it to good use. - wrp"

Click here to read article

Propaganda...

Discuss It � Propaganda: Alive And Well In America

A must read article...

Will the day ever come?

I remember the day so well. It began with me turning on the television to check on our weather forecast because a few inches of snow had fallen overnight. To my surprise the television stations were all featuring the breaking news that Saddam Hussein had been captured by coalition forces in Iraq. They were awaiting a news conference for confirmation. That soon came and they showed pictures of him in captivity.

Throughout the day I watched the news as they time and time again played the video and waltzed their analysts and other so called expert guests on to share their opinion of what it meant that he was now captured. I couldn't help but think that BY FAR one of the greatest risks to us here in the United States as well as the world is Osama Bin Laden. I hope that one day soon I'll be waking up to the news of his capture. Do you think it will ever happen?

Sharing more...

I've noticed since beginning this blog that it has been difficult for me to write about me personally. I seem to have trouble expressing how I feel personally so I therefore write about issues important to me or talk about things in a way that applies to people in general rather than just me. I'm not sure why I reach these points of solitude.

One of my biggest problems is my inability to function amidst chaos. When I have a lot of different things going on with different events bearing down on my life, it is at this time when I feel overwhelmed. I keep more to myself and don't share in this blog as I typically do in my written journal. I'm in a very public situation with my job so keeping to myself is much harder for me.

So I'm attempting to climb up from this place I've found myself and find in my soul the will to get through this chaos and reach for the light which will lead me to a better place, both emotionally and physically. This inner light that I believe we all have can be our own tour guide to take us to the better places in our life. To me, the better places are found when I seek my inner self and truly get to know who I am and how I'm feeling. Facing myself as a person and giving myself the opportunity to express openly what I'm feeling has helped me in the past immensely to get through the most difficult periods of my life.

The ole saying that we can't depend on anyone if we can't depend on ourselves is very true. We as a person must take responsibility for our lives and somehow find within ourselves the strength and the will to get through whatever life throws our way. This, of course is not an easy task and it takes some of us longer than others and I believe we have to give ourselves permission to take leave from it at times. We can't expect to always cope well. We will all have moments where life is too much and our burdens are too heavy. In those moments of despair, it is then that we will get to know ourselves the most. We learn a lot from ourselves simply by being forced to rely on who we are and what we think to guide us from a dark place.

To a dear friend...

I had a long discussion with a very dear friend today. I treasure this person so very much. I can't go into detail here because I was told things in confidence and I'd never betray that trust but I know that she reads this blog and I just want her to know how much she means to me and how much my heart aches for what she is being forced to endure. She deserves so much better. I hope she knows just what a special person she is. I have admired her for so long because of the kind and gentle soul she has but after our conversation today I now respect her and admire her so much more because this lady has been through things unimaginable to most of us and yet she has come through it all and has remained a mild mannered, kind, gentle and loving person. She amazes me and I'm honored to call her my friend.

Ugly Actors

I ran across this in one of the blogs (linked below) I read and just had to share it with readers here. It made some great points LOL.

Gwen's Super Happy Funtime Blog: "'Ugly' Actors

I was watching some movie the other day where the main male character has to interact with a number of potential dates, all of whom turn out to be unattractive and weird-looking. You know, the type of scene where from the back she looks fine, and then she turns around and she has big buck teeth or a hideous nose or something of the sort, and the male actor's face clearly displays his shock and disgust at the horrible sight confronting him.

That made me wonder: what is it like to audition for the role of an ugly person? How do you see a description of a role that says 'we're looking for a terribly unattractive person' and get all excited? What do you do when your agent calls up and says, 'I've got a role that would be perfect for you!' and you discover it's of the hideously ugly would-be romantic interest?

I mean, wouldn't it be a little hard on your self esteem to apply for roles that are advertised as being for someone who is ugly? Do the actors who take these roles think of themselves as ugly? Or do they think, 'Well, I'm not ugly, it's just the makeup'? Is it just the makeup, and in real life they're all outstandingly gorgeous? How must it feel to play out a scene in which you have to smile and watch your fellow actor screw up his/her face in disgust at what a dreadful sight you are? Is it hard on child actors who play the fat/ugly kid? Or does getting to be on screen make up for everything? If I were being a better sociologist today, I would say something like, 'How does a person negotiate his or her identity and sense of self in response to social signals that blah blah blah dee blah?'"

Democratic Underground

Democratic Underground: "McCain vows to add torture ban to all major Senate legislation Posted by Algorem Added to homepage Sat Nov 05th 2005, 03:40 PM ET

WASHINGTON - Girding for a potential fight with the Bush administration, supporters of a ban on torturing prisoners of war by U.S. interrogators threatened Friday to include the prohibition in nearly every bill the Senate considers until it becomes law.

The no-torture wording, which proponents say is supported by majorities in both houses of Congress, was included last month in the Senate's version of a defense spending bill. The measure's final form is being negotiated with the House, and the White House is pushing for either a rewording or deletion of the torture ban.

On Friday, at the urging of Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz, the Senate by a voice vote added the ban to a related defense bill as a backup. advertisement

Speaking from the Senate floor, McCain said, 'If necessary - and I sincerely hope it is not - I and the co-sponsors of this amendment will seek to add it to every piece of important legislation voted on in the Senate until the will of a substantial bipartisan majority in both houses of Congress prevails. Let no one doubt our determination.'"

------------------------------------
Well, we all know that McCain knows a thing or two about torture so I'm proud of the fact that he is standing up for what he believes on this issue. However, I wish he would have been so brave on other issues pertaining to recent years of the current administration. Also this just wreaks politics considering a Presidential election is on the horizon. Hmmmmmmmmmm???

A Note For Future Generations...

If you had to write a note - one note- and leave propped against the sugar bowl on your kitchen table for future generations to read what would you say in the note?

Never stop learning. We always need to feed our hunger for knowledge in every possible way. Knowledge is power. Once we hold in our hands knowledge about something we then can take the proper action. One of the most successful ways to feed our minds with knowledge is through the world of books. We can go on adventures we'd never get the opportunity to travel. We can experience situations through the eyes of others that we ourselves will never be touched by. Books are true windows into the world.

I Dip My Pen...

"I dip my pen in the blackest ink, because I'm not afraid of falling into my inkpot."
- - Ralph Waldo Emerson

This quote brings to mind my willingness to share my story and my life with others through my writings. I share in the hopes that I can locate others who can relate and understand what I'm experiencing. I share because others may need to know that I understand and that I can relate to what they are going through. It also brings to mind my need to dwell deeply in my soul and come to terms with who I am and accept the life I'm living. Dipping my pen into my own inkpot is my own way of delving into my life, my emotions, my hopes and my dreams. The dipping of my pen into my own inkpot is my way of dipping deep into my soul and getting to know my true inner self.

Change...

"GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference." -- Author Unknown

This saying is so true. We do need to accept the things we cannot change. So often we want to fix things that are just not able to be fixed. Perhaps it is not our place to fix them. A good example is with our children. When they are going down a path we feel is the wrong one for them to travel we instantly want to rush in and put them on the right course. But if that child doesn't want to go down the path we've chosen for them there is nothing we can do to alter that. We can try to persuade them but in the end it is their choice to make once they are grown.

I also find that I must accept the things I cannot change regarding my life. That is not easy because I want to somehow find a way to just make all the bad parts go away. Trying to change something that cannot be changed is very frustrating and stressful. By the same token we should hope for the strength and courage to take action and change the areas of our lives that we can make better. We can learn to take charge of things in our lives that we can use to become a better person. This also is not always easy because sometimes doing nothing in a tough situation seems like the safest road to go but it isn't always the wisest. Standing up and taking action takes courage and guts. It isn't always easy to face up to things in our life which we'd prefer to ignore.

Knowing the difference between those things we can change and those we cannot is not an easy task. I know that I get them confused constantly. Often times I don't know it is something I cannot change until I've tried over and over to change it. I guess it ends up being an admission to defeat and then I realize that it wasn't my situation to alter. I have to leave it to work out on its own. I have no idea how to explain a way to know the difference. I guess over the years through much trial and error we begin to sort situations out and recognize those things we just have to accept as is...

Peace at 3am????

Waking up in the wee morning hours is very therapeutic for me sometimes. Quietly walking through the house in my night clothes and comfy warm slippers. The sound of others sleeping and the quiet tones of a home full of love but with nothing verbal to confirm that forces me to think of the people that mean the most to me. Rather than rely on verbal confirmation of our love for one another I must then dwell on the warm memories that I have held so dear.

I grab a cup of something warm to drink. Sometimes I cheat and have regular coffee but I pay dearly so I've learned to forego the caffeine and enjoy the taste of decaffeinated coffee or some warm caffeine free herbal tea. Ok, I have my cup now and in the warm months I'll perhaps go sit on my deck and look at the stars and focus on the beautiful sky as the sun begins to rise. The sky is very beautiful in the morning with all the changes of color as night slowly becomes day.

There are also times I use the morning hours as my own special time to read, write or just sit and reflect on the things I must accomplish. Sometimes I come to my computer and sit with silence around me and click away at my keyboard sharing a moment in time with great friends and many people who have become like family. Of course for one reason or another I don't get to enjoy this adventure each morning because many mornings my bed holds onto me for a little longer. But I have learned to treasure the beauty of those nights when sleep doesn't come or when it leaves me in the early hours forcing me to open my eyes and breath the crisp air and to view the wonder of morning.

Attitude

Our attitude toward life can shape the world around us. Our view of the world in many ways is a mere reflection of our own believes, thoughts, attitudes and personality. We can attract to ourselves the sort of people, the sort of activities and events that are closely linked to our own thoughts and actions. What we view of the world will be shaped by how we view life and what we think about ourselves. I do believe this. For this reason I work hard to keep a positive attitude and to look at the world with a hopeful eye. No one is able to accomplish this every moment of every day. We all go through difficult periods in our life and during those times we may find it impossible to feel positive about our life. I do believe we are better served if we can quickly retreat to a positive train of thought.